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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He seems to have gone quiet after sex?

4 replies

Spacedcat83 · 05/11/2024 11:38

I've been friends with this man for around two years. The past few weeks we have got quite close and he's opened up to me about some troubles he's been having, lots of things really. I don't think he has anyone else he can talk to.
I felt some chemistry between us and after some wine I told him I felt that. He said he likes me a lot and wants to go out for food, but he's a bit of a mess financially.
Anyway we haven't been out for food yet but have been eating together at my place and a couple of nights ago we ended up having sex. I kind of knew it would happen and I think he did too. It was good 😊
So he left the next afternoon which was Sunday. All was fine, we had breakfast together and chatted for ages before he left.
But I haven't heard anything from him since. Granted, it hasn't been that long but I'm a little disappointed that he hasn't checked in. Am I just overthinking things? Should I send him a message? I think he does like me but he's not in a great position for a relationship I guess. I know he's not seeing anyone else, hes not a player or anything. I like him and our connection. I always get a little insecure after sex. We had been texting most days before though.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 05/11/2024 11:45

That’s a tricky one, maybe he’s having second thoughts now or maybe be just feels a bit awkward afterwards and isn’t sure how to reach out or what to say? Sex does blur the boundaries of friendship a bit.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 05/11/2024 11:47

Do you want to potentially enter a relationship of any kind with someone who is 'a bit of a mess financially'? Even if it is just FWB?

Towerofsong · 05/11/2024 12:19

He has opened up to you about some troubles, isn't in the position for a relationship but you came onto him and now you have ended up having sex?

He perhaps feels that by opening up emotionallly about his troubles he has been encouraged into something he didn't plan for, and wasn't ready for.

Spacedcat83 · 05/11/2024 12:44

Yeah.. actually I think we're better off as friends. I didn't want to change that really it was just a bit of a drunken thing. I'm not gonna push for anything else the timings probably not right for both of us.
Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
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