I want to share my situation as I think I’m a bit confused. I’ve had a history of choosing abusive partners, which is a result of growing up with a mother who took her abusing father’s side in her upbringing (he had ptsd from the war also). I thought I’d changed the path, firstly I’ve raised my child and they are fully aware of what’s right and wrong so I’ve won there. They are 16. I met my current partner over three years ago, I thought I’d broken the pattern but slowly it turned out he’d discussed me on negative terms to his friends and parents and they in turn were not always very welcoming. He has always seemed to struggle thinking as a partnership, not just for him but I thought he might learn to trust me. Three years on he promised marriage and after postponing moving in three times, a child (changed his mind) due to him saying his fears essentially but yet begging me to stay afterwards, it’s just a delay etc. Now he’s sure he says but refuses to share and discuss our personal finances, which I felt was important as we are heading for marriage according to him. In an argument he said he came in to this potential marriage with assets and I have none so I leave with what I earn and the life insurance which I’m not sure even exists as he won’t show me (I was a single parent and it was abusive, but I work full time and I am earning well now even considering studying to step up). He says he will keep what he has and leave it to his daughter should he die, did to his credit offer a % of his life insurance (I and my child would have to move away with this kind of money) after offering to buy a home with me, he’s now saying it will be his house only too. So am I going mad here, does this sound right to you? I would be homeless and have to move away waiting for a payout if it exists and am otherwise on a mission to make up for lost time struggling raising my child.
My normal is we share 50/50 or at least provide a home for life, and of course he’s let me down and so even if he agrees he won’t show me the proof, so how can I trust any of it?
Now I’m pushing for answers he’s getting cross with me. Shouting and being scary. Am I being unreasonable to be financially transparent? Am I just being a fool? Am feeling confused, sad and wondering whether yo just walk away for maybe finding someone who keeps to their word and can be transparent?
Be kind please. Thank you