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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it time to end it?

5 replies

HerormyMom · 04/11/2024 17:22

Has my relationship run its course?
After almost seven years together, the more we talk about our future the more unsure I am about this relationship. I feel guilty for feeling this because I love her and she loves me but idk that we are forever. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I’m always making sure that nothing I do or say will hurt her feelings or makes her mad but idk that she cares about my feelings. It seems like she thinks her feelings are more important than mine. I’m not a sentimental person, I don’t usually show or talk about the things that bother me or hurt me. The couple times I’ve addressed them it gets turn around and I am the one that ends up apologizing for talking about it. I no longer hang out with my friends alone, I actually try not to communicate with my family as much because I know it bothers her. Not because my family is rude or they don’t get along, she just wants my constant undivided attention all the time. I feel so consumed by this relationship and not in a good way. Whenever we have tried to talk about this issues, she cries and I just can’t handle thinking I cause that much pain to someone I love so I drop the subject. I get she is an emotional person but sometimes I feel like she uses that to avoid us confronting our issues. Any advice?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 04/11/2024 17:24

She’s not emotional. She’s abusive. You must be exhausted from trying to please her all the time.

AgathaKrispie · 04/11/2024 17:27

It sounds like you've been manipulated into a very lonely place. As the PP says, that's abusive. You should not and do not have to put up with this.

HerormyMom · 04/11/2024 17:28

yes I’m exhausted. It’s just so hard to think of someone as abusive when they show so much love in other aspects of our relationship.

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 04/11/2024 17:30

Sorry OP but she’s controlling and abusive. Turning on the waterworks is pure manipulation to emotionally blackmail you.

Your relationship is absolutely toxic. For your own sanity please get out now.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 04/11/2024 18:29

That's is manipulation at its most effective. Her doing what she wants then turning her petulance to crocodile tears to get to you.
It's exhausting and will get worse.

You need to leave.

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