Struggling with a friend's lack of support

[you4me]

I'm struggling with a lack of support from my friend at the moment . I've heard nothing from her since my husband went into hospital for an operation . I don't expect her to do anything for us but I would have thought she could have phoned to ask how he was and to chat . In the past I have been there for her throughout multiple crises and reached out when she and her husband have been ill with moral support as well as helping her fill in forms when they needed to claim pip. I feel let down and disappointed and feeling that maybe this friendship is just a one way street .

Because she doesn’t think like you. See my previous comment. It’s not hard. If you want her support ask for it and stop being so weird about it. This is juvenile.

I hope your DH gets better soon, op. I can see you’re very hurt. Theres a mismatch of expectations. What is she like normally? Would you have thought of her as a good supportive previously? I always think you pass people all the time and not really know of the struggles they’re having at the time. Yours are obvious at the moment with you husband unwell. Maybe hers aren’t obvious? If she’s a good friend usually I wouldn’t let your pride get in the way and I’d text her an update on your DH. Let her know you’re letting her in.

I hope your DH continues to improve.. I think in your position I would send one text with a bit of an update, and then see what her response is - if it's a caring text, asking if there's anything you need, anything she can help with etc, then perhaps you can take things from there... if her reply just glosses over your DH being in hospital, and then becomes all about her, then you have your answer, and can think about whether you accept this is just how she is, or you choose to make this friendship less of a priority

I hope all is well and recovery is smooth.

I had surgery over the summer and I was hurt when some people didn’t ask how I was. I had to recover alone for the majority of the time with radio silence from my family and people I thought I was close too. It wasn’t that they were busy either they just disregarded my surgery as no big deal and expected me to bounce back the same day. I could barely walk for two weeks.

I think people these days rarely care unless it benefits them.

Thank for all the supportive comments . I'm just going to dial back my expectations and look after number one .

I hope he’s doing okay and you’re holding up as well as you can 💐