Dh always always moans about having no money at the mid point/ end of the month, has to be super frugal to make it through. Claiming it’s because I don’t pay my fair share of the bills. I pay a proportional amount as I earn less (55%45%). After moaning and blaming me, saying we can’t afford to go on holiday and how I need to get these holiday ideas out of my head because I’m spending ‘all his money’. This went on a while, I crack and demand to see what he’s spending it on as he takes home £300 more than me, and I’ve got a fair amount left and I just spent £100 on kids clothes and £175 on insurance excess and saved £500. (What kicked this off was a holiday I’ve been eyeing up and his share of the excess and expenses he can’t pay) He protests, and eventually gives in.
half expecting to see gambling after I see he’s only got £300 left (pay day was mid month). He’s owed £100 in business expenses. But what do I see, £250 in takeaways. Not evening take aways (there were some, after I’ve cooked and he’s decided he didn’t like it so ordered more food after the kids went to bed) but lunchtime takeaways. He’s been ordering himself A takeaway every lunch time, £15+ a pop. I work in an office so I’ve not seen this and I cook extra food at night for lunch the next day and he’s been binning it!
im fuming that a) he’s blamed me for having no cash and b) he’s so financially irresponsible. He is also the man that refused to save for his children because he doesn’t have any money!
when I’ve grilled him and tbh had a go at him, he’s said it’s his money and I’m being controlling so I can spend it all. I never ask him for a penny, nor does he buy me gifts or treats (just a box of chocolate and a cake for birthday and a Moonpig card, no anniversary, Xmas or anything else) none of which I care about to say it’s me! He then flipped and said ‘ i won’t be living long anyway, soon I’ll be dead and you can spend all my money then’. What money?! Then how he wants to spend his money, and he’s earned it etc.
am I over reacting? Am I being controlling? I don’t mind treating yourself but surely this is excessive and lazy! 3 nights a week I have to cook dinner for the next day before bed, I’m up til 11pm doing it, when it’s his turn he can’t be arsed to a takeaway and bam £40 gone.
All I want is to live a comfortable life and provide for our children and save for a rainy day, retirement and making memories but here he is just pissing it away and I’m having to make up the short fall.
im so so cross. Im actually thinking that such different attitudes to money and savings can be marriage ending.