We have a 19mo th old and it's a real relationship tester, we definitely get more stressed at each other, I would like to talk more and understand each other but my partner prefers to not talk and feels we should just move on.
Sorry long post alert!
Friday morning I asked for help to get little one ready for nursery as had lots to do and was running late already, he said better for one of us to be late for work than both and left.
I was 30mins late for work!
I sent some videos over our morning of why it was taking so long, is little one refusing to be undressed/dressed.
And explained that with him helping for 5mins I could have got 2/3 jobs done that take me half hour with a toddler in tow.
Saturday, I have planned a baby shower for friend, partner knew for months this was plan, he's stressed in morning saying he has stuff to do(things on his computer, he likes to do music!?) I plan to take little one out, again ask for him to take him for 5mins so i can sort his bag, lunch, and myself to go out. He did is but complained.
I go to shower, he makes plans to go to fireworks that night, msgs to check plan ok and me join etc, I say yes, tell him I'll be home 4ish. From 4m onwards I have msgs, missed calls etc asking when I'll be home.
I was enjoying some time with friends, at an event I had planned for months and didn't want to rush.
Get home at 4.45pm, and am rushed to get ready, told I'm being too slow.
I try to say that I didn't appreciate being rushed, i was with friends and his last minute plans shouldn't dictate my afternoon etc.
Finally get in car and he's still angry and I'm still trying to explain, he says I'm nagging, and I should just move on.then shouts at me to 'shut the fuck up'. I just want some recognition that I'm not being unreasonable, and his behaviour is over the top!
I say I'm turning car round and going home, he says 'if I don't take him, he will make my night horrible' so we go.
Next day we have an event I say I'm not going because I feel sad, (referring to night before) he proceeds to not talk to me at all and take my son to event.
I call and apologise and say I was sad I wasn't at event with my son, and I should have said that I wanted a conversation before coming. He says to come along.
At home I ask if we can talk, he says no, I say I want to talk it through, he says that we are 'even' because of the stress i put him under this morning.
I have said now that. I think we need to end it, we have spent the day just working around each other and not communicating, he sent a picture of us as a family, which I responded, 'this is nice and I want to be together but we need to talk about both our behaviours over the last few days'
I have had nothing back or an instigation from him to converse.
I don't know what to do, does his behaviour sound ok!!!?
The fact we are 'even' gets to me, as the only stress I put him under was trying to show him I didn't want to go as I was unhappy.
And the shouting aswell.
I don't know what to do if he refuses to talk to me!
This is the worse it's been over our 9 year relationship.