fed up of celibacy

[FreshOrangeJuice]

I am fed up of being celibate, I feel too young to be living a life of celibacy and worried I am missing out on my “best years” but also hate the thought of fwb.

Is anyone else in the same situation? probably not many people?
lone parent so can’t date i’m guessing most people in my situation have a fwb but i’m not someone that can easily detach my feelings like that.

I think lots of people are in this situation

Is there a reason that you see a FWB as the solution rather than dating?

Why would a fwb be more possible than dating?

lone parent as mentioned in my post i also wouldn’t consider a fwb it’s what people have suggested to me but i hate the idea

I asking this in the nicest way possible and I am not trying to offend you, but why are celibate if you don't enjoy/want to necessarily be? I don't blame you for not wanting a FWB situation, but are the guys you attract wanting that type of fun? I think an easy way of seeing if a guy is really interested in you or what he can get, is to be upfront and honest about the path you are currently on. That should weed out the ones who just want a FWB type of girl. Also, have you thought about what you really want in a relationship/partner?

Ouf I feel you! I do not want, or need, a relationship right now but I miss sex 😂

How about casual sex/hookups? I know they are universally seen as belonging to sluts or teens but I've found it a pretty decent solution - just make sure you're careful!

Is there no way you could free up one night a week for dating? No gps or friends in a similar situation you could do a babysitting swap with?

I completely hear you. I’m older than you but i absolutely hate being celibate. I can’t do casual/FWB/hook ups etc - I need a connection to have sex and I’ve just not met anyone in last few years who Ive felt attracted enough to.

I can count on my fingers the number of dates I’ve had in last 5 years

Tbh it’s the only thing I really miss about being in a relationship

i’m a lone parent i don’t get time to date.

i’m a lone parent i don’t get the time and even if i did no chance would i have ons not judging anyone but would be worried about the safety of that.

thank you yes i’m glad it’s not just me that’s what i was wondering really if anyone else is in the same situation and celibate not through choice. i can’t do fwb as i would get emotionally attached

@FreshOrangeJuice absolutely fair enough, I get it's not for everyone!

Another suggestion (you may already be a pro!) is get very comfortable with different sex toys and pleasuring yourself. Tbh I probably prefer that these days to good old fashioned sex! If you don't have time for any meets in real life that's probably a good shout :)

If you don't have time to date then you don't have time for a fwb anyway. But my current relationship started out as "just a bit of fun and sex", as I did not want to settle down with anyone - and 8 years later we are a couple. There's not such a huge dividing line as you might think between casual and serious.

And yes, there are loads of people who are involuntarily celibate, aka incel!

Honestly if I met someone I was attracted to I’d be all over them 🤣 I’ve always been very sexual in relationships but I have to have that emotional as well as physical connection to on and the pickings out there are pretty slim

If that’s of any comfort, getting some sex as a youngish attractive woman isn’t that easy even if you can date.

I can’t really separate sex from feelings, I really don’t enjoy random sex without the emotional attachment. But nice men aren’t that quick to jump into bed with you once they like you.

Really dunno what the solution is.

i disagree as fwb is a lot less investment the single mums i know see their fwb as and when they feel like it often not for months but it isn’t for me

My best friend is in this situation. A beautiful Christian woman, 38, vowed no sex until marriage.

The problem is that by 40, there are virtually no men who would wait a year until marriage, and almost daily I get the "I'm going to be a single cat lady" messages.

The clock is ticking, and I do worry for her.

Get a babysitter? Or your children have a sleepover at grandparents/aunties/friends houses? Arrange a few casual dates, it doesn’t have to lead to sex on the first date but if you like anyone arrange a date for the next time you can get a babysitter 🤷‍♀️

That ship has definitely sailed. Being a virgin when you married may have worked when we all got married as teenagers/early 20s, but by your 40s the dating pool for the Kind of man who wants that is going to be teeny tiny.

Agree. Past 40 most men think not having sex by the 3rd date is too long to wait

finances wouldn’t allow that and my children have sen so not an option to leave them with random sitters unfortunately.

that does sound difficult, unless she meets someone in the same situation which seems unlikely

Arrangements between two adults can be discussed. In this day and age open conversations around adult relationships can and should be had.There has to be a willingness and some compartmentalisation though.
A bit like leading two lives. One life for the everyday functions and one for intimate times. Neither one comes into contact with the other.
When intimate times are over it's a return to the everyday. I understand that some people cannot do this. It takes a certain mindset. But it's not impossible.

Before I remarried, I was a single mum and celibate for 2.5 years. I was horny as hell for most of it 😝 I didn’t want to introduce DS to anyone so only went on dates when he was with my ex or my mum. In the end, I had a FWB and it was so fun 🤩 I know you’ve convinced yourself you don’t want it but are you really sure? I had two before I got married and, both times, it was so fun!

yes i’ve had them before so not speaking from no experience i had them before i met ex and hated it 🫣