Is this normal for a long-term relationship?
It seems to be a cycle with my partner. He is really nice but then sometimes he is so incredibly selfish and spiteful. He says things to me that he knows hurts me.
He will call me, dumb, lazy, r’tarded and stupid. He says I leave the house a mess every day and I do nothing for him. The house is a little bit of a mess when he comes home because at dinner time its chaotic with a toddler. When he comes home late in the evening after training the house is always nice and tidy.
I do work 4 days a week, painting and decorating whilst juggling everything else. But apparently his work is harder although he spends a lot of his time in coffee shops and on his phone and only finishes an hour later than me.
He hardly does anything in the house. We had a disagreement today because I asked if he could build a cupboard for our shoes, he said “you do it, are you really that dumb? And instead he built his gym equipment and then when it came to the shoe cupboard he said he would do it only if I clean out his ice bath as its only fair.
I went out with a friend on Friday and he complained that I hadn't made my daughter dinner before I left, the same time he was complaining about this as he was making himself dinner. When I came home from the concert he got himself kebab from the place I have been asking to order from but he has always said no. Today he went to get shopping for himself and got himself coffee pods but not me, as they are too expensive. He knows mine are all gone. He also said I spend too much time on my phone. He is on his all the time. When we get home from shopping he spends 20+ minutes sitting in the car on his phone.
I do become as low as him sometimes, I call him emotionally immature and selfish. I tell him he is emotionally abusing me, which I don't know is correct. I do nap during the day on the weekends but to be honest I find him exhausted and it's my escape.