I can’t afford to leave him

[Shiraleegeoerge]

Have you or anyone you know stayed with a partner for your child/financial reasons when you don’t want to be with them?
Did you eventually leave or did you stay?
What made you stay/leave?
Did you find happiness again?

The reason I’m asking is because I’m fairly confident I don’t love my partner anymore, there are many reasons why I have lost interest in him but I stay for our toddler and because I can’t financially manage without him due to my disability and relying on benefits. It would put me and my children in severe poverty to lose his income, as much as it makes me sound like a golddigger.
I know staying for the children is the worse thing to do, I grew up in that environment and hated it so I’m not condoning it, but it’s so difficult when you’re the adult responsible for dealing with the situation.
There isn’t anything ‘wrong’ in our relationship like abuse, I’m just not happy anymore and feel like we have a house share arrangement and not a love relationship. It’s turned into resentment and I feel like I’d be happier without him but I’m so stuck and feeling trapped.
If anyone can share their experiences I’d be very grateful.

Have you checked what you’d get in CMS and whether you would be eligible for any other benefits?

Yes it wouldn’t be enough to cover all outgoings unfortunately

Is your toddler the only joint child? Have you had any discussion with him?
Sometimes always the toddler years are like the wilderness years and hard.

Have you tried communicating with your partner about how you feel? Perhaps you could work together on putting the spark back in to it relationship instead of ending it. Sometimes relationships are hard and go through periods of change that take work to get through. If there’s no abuse in the relationship then I would be inclined to work on it. What is missing for you from the relationship. If you could change anything, what would it be? What did your relationship look like when you were happy? Why did it change? What’s your communication like? How much time do you spend together as a couple. What are the qualities you like about your partner? Is he kind, generous, supportive, a good dad, funny, handsome, honest, reliable? There will be things you can appreciate about him. Try to initially focus on his good qualities and build from there.

You say 'partner' - assume you're not married?

Yes my toddler is his, my elder 2 aren’t.
We’re not married.
There are so many negatives over positives now. In fact I can’t think of any positives except he helps with DIY and bills but they’re not reasons to stay.
We never spend time together, we aren’t intimate as he doesn’t want to be (the last time was our toddler’s conception!) I’m pretty sure he doesn’t find me attractive anymore and neither do I towards him, he won’t marry me after feeding me lies for years that he would, he has begun to irritate me in ways he hasn’t before like how he eats and breaths loudly and the jokes I used to find funny now piss me off. I resent the life he has forced on me.
I’ve tried countless times talking to him and finding ways to repair it but it falls on deaf ears, he just doesn’t care or he’d work on it. I’m pretty sure I’m close to ‘ick’ territory now.
Refusing sex and marriage just makes me see him differently now and not as the nice person I thought he was.
The house is mine so he would have to leave, he doesn’t have anywhere to go and can’t afford anywhere to rent so the guilt makes me ignore these feelings but they’re constantly resurfacing lately.