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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Locking horns over share of house ownership

9 replies

Olive567 · 02/11/2024 15:47

My DP and I are unmarried, together several decades with DC. We own house outright, but I own very small share as bulk of house was bought with partners' inheritance 20 years ago. DP always agreed I could have half of profit if/when house was sold as we have both equally paid for maintenance, infrastructure jobs and upkeep over the years. Infact the original Declaration of Trust, drawn up with both our shares when we bought the house, states that we would equally pay for upkeep I'm now wanting to formalise the agreement that DP would give me half share of house profit, if sold, by getting a further Declaration of Trust drawn up stating this. However, DP is now reluctant and unhappy to sign this. What can I do if he refuses? Some big and urgent house projects are coming up and i'm reluctant to put up half money if i'm not covered by agreement. I feel like he has protected his interests over the years by not marrying me - but now he can't understand me wanting to protect mine.

OP posts:
houseselling101 · 02/11/2024 15:48

Who has paid the mortgage? Have you also paid on equal shares?

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/11/2024 15:51

You can’t do anything apart from refuse to contribute to the urgent projects. Who paid the mortgage is irrelevant to him going back on your agreement.

Why wouldn’t he marry you?

Olive567 · 02/11/2024 15:51

We have no mortgage, the house was bought outright with DP owning 85%

OP posts:
lastgreat · 02/11/2024 15:53

I'd be paying 15% of any urgent maintenance and no more

LauraNorda · 02/11/2024 15:58

Yes, pay 15% of any maintenace costs going forwards. Has he made a will, leaving his share to you? If so, statistically, he should go first.

Olive567 · 02/11/2024 16:04

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/11/2024 15:51

You can’t do anything apart from refuse to contribute to the urgent projects. Who paid the mortgage is irrelevant to him going back on your agreement.

Why wouldn’t he marry you?

Yes, I will probably have to say this about funding projects.
Regarding marriage, I was quite happy to be unmarried in early days of our relationship, it's only as I get older i see how absolutely vulnerable i was with small DC. DP wanted to protect himself financially and I went along with this. I earn well now and am getting my life in order.

OP posts:
Olive567 · 02/11/2024 16:29

LauraNorda · 02/11/2024 15:58

Yes, pay 15% of any maintenace costs going forwards. Has he made a will, leaving his share to you? If so, statistically, he should go first.

No wills currently- I'm wanting to sort these out with solicitor too. I'm happy for us to leave our shares to each other, but I suspect DP will want to leave his to DC, in which case I will too.

OP posts:
GwenPost · 02/11/2024 16:45

I would discuss your options with your solicitor first

Would DP be willing to go to some sort of mediation/conflict resolution service with you? Where you both set out your positions and wants and a trained 3rd party helps you find a reasonable compromise.

KAM12345 · 02/11/2024 18:04

I can see both sides. I think it depends on how much the work is. You have benefited from having somewhere to live for only 15% of the cost so should be contributing something towards up keep. If you own 15% then I assume if sold you are entitled to 15% of the profit. If you are paying for something that would increase the value of the house and paying half then the agreement should be updated to reflect your contribution but if its carpets, painting maybe windows/heating then I think half is fair as I would expect you to be saving what you would have paid in rent or mortgage. This assumes you do 50/50 parenting/ house life admin and can work the same as you partner. If you do the bulk of the above then I think you should contribute less to the maintenance now you are a parent

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