I’ve been following this horrible story of 15 year old Holly Newton who was killed by her ex boyfriend (16 years old at the time) after she ended their relationship. Legally Holly is still not recognised as a victim of domestic abuse. She would have been, if she’d been just a few months older. But under the current legal definition of domestic abuse both victim and perpetrator have to be at least 16 (it used to be 18 until just a few years ago).
Her family are now campaigning for this to change so that young people experiencing domestic abuse are better supported and protected.
The ironic thing is that research shows it’s actually teenagers who are most likely to be in abusive relationships.
I was in a similar situation to Holly nearly 20 years ago and I cried hearing her story because so little has changed. I was in an abusive relationship from age 14 - 17 with my partner controlling my every move, cutting himself or threatening me with knives if he didn’t get his own way, and threatening to torture me or break my legs if i left. It wasn’t a secret, and I was regularly in contact with the police, health care workers and youth workers but no one ever said ‘this is abuse’.. because I guess technically it wasn’t. If he had been with a girl his own age (18) then it would have been and the police could have done something. I had to leave him without any support from domestic abuse charities because I didn’t meet their criteria. There was a feeling amongst everyone of: just how bad could it be when it involves teenagers?
Im so grateful to have survived and I just wish Holly hadn’t been let down in the same way.