Did anyone here end a long, sexless marriage?

[SnoopyDogLikesABiscuit]

Has anyone ended a sexless marriage to a person you thought was a nice person but you just knew the ‘chemistry’ wasn’t there and the attraction had diminished? Marriage has been sexless 9 years due to this. I’m starting to realise it’s not fair on either of us (I’m the one not feeling it for him). He does nothing for me in that area at all - not helped by a 11 year age gap.

Has anyone moved on and had a better relationship with someone else? I’m 45.

I have felt like there is something missing from my life for a significant amount of time. No affection at all in the marriage. However, he is a good man! That’s that problem!

He is also a very poor lover! Not that I’m experienced but it’s just hmmm, dull.

A good friend has done this recently. Happier than I’ve ever seen her. What is holding you back? You sound quite clear

Guilt, I suppose. I feel bad. I married him and made a commitment. But, it isn’t working out for me and I am missing something I shouldn’t be.

you should only have a sexless marriage if you are soul mates and you agree to it

It’s really hard but you can’t stay with them out of guilt. It might be a relief for everyone once it’s done. Also maybe it can be done without too much acrimony and you can even be friends. Go and live your life! Good luck

I am starting to resent him - I know I shouldn’t but I do.

Have you done anything to resolve it?

I can’t go near him. At all. He isn’t really a passionate man anyway and there was never any hand holding, hugs, kissing in our relationship. Counselling wouldn’t work as I just do not feel that way about him.

Me. 20 years together, 16 years married, no affection or sex for the last few years. Amazing father and person in general and all still very amicable between us. But the resentment built to a point it was suffocating. Wasn’t fair on either of us to continue with the relationship so I ended it.

He moved out pretty quickly, and to be fair, since then we have a much more amicable, friendly relationship with each other. I’m so much happier, stress free and just relaxed in general. But I’m under no illusion of wanting or finding another relationship. I’m happy on my own and enjoying my time for myself, if I’m still by myself 10/20 years down the line, I know I still made the right decision for me.

good luck whatever you decide to do xx

Shamelessly following this.

My husband won't have sex with me and hasn't for the last 18 months but it's been pretty sexless for 5 years (since we had children).

But he's a serial cheater. (Mainly emotional), so I'm in the process of planning to leave.

Hope you're okay OP.

My husband is the kindest man ever, but totally sexless due to medication, mental health and emotional issues. He always has been. It thought I could show him how it's supposed to be, but it didn't work. He has absolutely no concept of what a fun, fab thing sex can be.
I'm finally in the process of moving on and we have agreed a pathway forward. Before him, sex was great fun, jolly and bouncy! I don't think I'd have any one else so will be happy on my own.

Yes, I left a sexless & loveless marriage. My XH is a nice enough man, but only really wanted a housekeeper/friend/counsellor & wasn't at all interested in sex, holding hands etc.

Now re-married to a lovely man who appreciates me - tells me how much he loves & fancies me, notices & compliments me on what I'm wearing, wouldn't dream of leaving the house without kissing me goodbye, having the best sex ever. 😍

Good luck.

I could have written the op. I ended a very long sexless relationship. I had learnt to live with it, there were other issues and I could have continued to plod on with my rather dull life, dull relationship. But then a colleague and I got too close and I knew I had to end my relationship.

It was an emotional affair nothing sexual happened until I was single. Physically it didn't last long and we have remained close, platonic friends. But it was enough to confirm to me I needed more. My life is very different now, new home, new job that I love. I have a wider circle of friends. Tried new hobbies, joined clubs. I am happy all the time. There is a man, we seem to have a connection. Time will tell if that goes anywhere. But it was a very hard couple of years, learning to be on my own, getting to this point.

I loved being single after I left XH. My DS was all grown up & independent, but would visit & we would cook together, spend sunny evenings in the garden chatting & enjoying a dink or 2. But XH would visit every Sunday afternoon to moan about the problems that he was having in his current relationship. I stopped that one Sunday when I saw his car pull outside my flat & I quickly closed bedroom curtains, whipped off my top, put a dressing gown on & stuck my head around the door saying 'Sorry, not convenient now - I have a visitor' He didn't visit again. 😂

It's funny that in the 10 years that we've been separated & then divorced, XH has had 3 relationships that have all gone pear-shaped. He had 1 previous marriage & several engagements before we got married (I only knew about the marriage, not the engagements otherwise I'd have been more wary). He thinks that he picks the wrong women. Hmmmm - I'm thinking it's about time that he looked at himself. But luckily not my problem anymore. Except DS tells me how unhappy & lonely he is & how he wishes I would agree to talk to him as XH values my advice. I tell DS 'No' we're divorced, reassured DS that we are both there for him, but DS is 29 & old enough that doesn't need parents to be talking to each other as I've moved on. It's all a bit complicated as I'm still very friendly with XH cousin (who I worked with) & we meet to walk our dogs & have coffee with a group of friends every Sunday. She has no time for XH says he's a waste of space &, when she saw him at his mother's funeral recently, he didn't speak to her.