Does anyone else HATE dating apps?

[What12345]

That's it really, I have no idea of personality / connection in an app. But what other options are there?

Regular clubs are difficult, I'm 'older' and happier in pj's than a big night out?

I don't hate them, yet anyway, but not having much success either. I have managed to date three different men in the last couple of months but didn't really fee a connection with any of them.
I will persevere but only because not sure how else to meet anyone. Through friends or work is not an option, tried some meetup groups but no luck, my gym is not very sociable (everyone working out in their own world with headphones on), might join a running club at some point as like to do running anyway, just prefer the gym now that the evenings are dark. I'm also too old for regular nights out, and whenever I have been out everyone else seems younger than me anyway.

Sorry not much help!

Thank you, nice to gear other people's experiences. I think I'm put off as when I have met from online, they are not always who they say they are. One scared me and was quite pushy, in a public place which has made me wary of .meeting others.

Try getting out and about in real life. After all I bet on your dating profile you didn't write 'I like sitting at home in my pj's' did you? You must've written about what you're into, and the kind of man you'd like to meet?

Lots of different clubs out there from book clubs to crafts to language to sport. If you have no outlet or hobby, what are you going to talk about with your new man when you meet him/ is he and your relationship going to be the center of your world?

I couldn't be a fan of dating apps mainly because I feel people lie about what they like, and do. Which isn't to say that couldn't happen in real life but I think its better to meet face to face naturally and take it from there

Yes because they have been a platform for my now ex to cheat and lie and damage out relationship. He met a woman off tinder when we were getting to know one another. He then joined zoosk 3 years into our relationship which was lovely!! He called himself a different name on there and had no photo. But he put his age and town on there. Said he was a smoker and looking for a relationship. I think they cause alot of problems and probably tripled cheating cases and wrecked a shit ton of relationships. Oh and how many frogs do you have to kiss before you find a nice man on there. My mate met a man on there. Turned up pissed and tried to push his hand into her knickers on a country walk. She kept going though. Army Chap with ptsd kept blowing hot and cold with her. She got with a lad after him for 3 months. They had sex every weekend and he slept over every Saturday night. Until he found another girl on POF and ditched my friend. She was heartbroken for 6 months. She probably tried dating 10 more men after that then she met a nice guy. She's been with him 9 months and it's all good for her. But wow. The bullshit she went through first.

Sorry to hear that you have had such negative experiences!

The three men I have met so far through online dating were all actually quite genuine and looked like their photos, I just didn't feel attracted to them when I met them in person. Also, the second one was only really after something casual but was quite honest about it. I try and meet them as quickly as possible so that I don't feel too invested. I have actually agreed to meet the third guy for a second date this weekend (a walk!) as I'm child-free and all my friends are busy. He seemed like a nice man, just didn't feel an instant attraction when I met with him earlier this week but thought there's no harm in going for a walk with him.

I’ve only been on OLD about 3 months now and so far it’s been an absolute waste of time. A lot of likes, a good few matches but not a single date as yet. Just lots of poor communication and ghosting so far

I’m older and I do have a very active social life. I’m out at least every other weekend, I go away quite a bit home and abroad but just never seem to meet anyone.

I've been on & off the dating sites for what feels like years and years. Probably is about 10 years in total. Met many, many frogs. Very few prince's. It's dire. Finally seem to have found a good one where the stars have aligned but oh boy, the universe took its time in delivering.

No advice here but just solidarity. Dating sites have got worse and worse over the years. Too many self-entitled pricks who think they are better than they are 🤷‍♀️

I think what I find hard is I want to get to know someone, see if we have similar interests and the men's approach seems to be more about sex. I think that is important but there has to.be a connection with that.

I don't think I'm making a lot of sense, I do think I need to stay off them and get out more

I think it's easier to judge character in real life? Get an idea of what they are like first.

Yes, I completely hate them, they are awful.

Not sure if it's relevant but I'm conventionally attractive and 30something, so usually when I swipe right on a guy, they'll swipe back, and if I like them we'll meet.

They're still awful.

Why? Let me count the ways...

• You're mostly seeing pictures so it's heavily appearance based
• Many people aren't good at describing themselves and most likely you'll swipe past the person you'd have really connected with because a profile doesn't convey character and presence
• Thinking of my exes, I'd have swiped left on every single one of them and missed out
• Most people go on there when they're feeling lonely and broken and want some validation, it's the first stop for people after a break-up/ divorce, ready to date or not, dipping their toe in
• After a while people just feel like items off a shelf, if you didn't like one, you'll just go on and pick the next one to fill the void
• Pressure to judge a stranger off the back of some text and 1-2 meets whether you'd like to date them - takes me far longer to figure out if I like someone or not
• Many people want to move faaaast, it's almost like a 'test drive', it doesn't feel organic
• Because the first time you meet someone is in a dating context, you're less likely to see their authentic self, as opposed to meeting through friends etc
• Because people are strangers, there's no need to be nice, even after a few dates/ time knowing each other. While I've not had any particularly bad experiences, the mutual respect just doesn't feel the same as it does with a friends --> couple type of connection

Get out and about. Life is so much better living your best life, doing things you love, being happy and potentially meeting people that way, without the pressures of 'modern' dating. I was only on there for about 3-4 months but never going back, and since making the commitment of being open and approachable IRL, actually speaking and making connections to people, life's so much better.

Life really hasn't changed that much in terms of locking eyes with someone and magic happening, we're just being sold the narrative that online's the only way now, and we're buying it.

They represent so much of why people feel lonely and have poor mental health, desperate for connection but struggling to make one.

Elleinthewoods, I can completely relate to what you are saying and you worded this so much better than me. That's exactly the issue, I've tried again, one last ditch attempt and I'm off again. It's not real life.

Im not lonely or desperate but equally would love to connect with someone. What will be will be 😊

@What12345 Oh thank you, I’m glad it resonated. Meeting people online is ok sometimes, when I was a teen chat rooms were a big thing and I’m still friends with some people I met there 20 years later. But I guess what I liked better there is that they were personality/ chat based, no pictures.

Likewise, I’d love to connect with someone who’s more than just a platonic friend, I’m ready for the fireworks. But I’ve stopped looking there.

And it’s been a good year in terms of making connections IRL after quitting.

Wishing you good luck both online and offline 🍀

I met DP on tinder and we’ve been together 4 years. That said I also had some awful dates 😂.