Are my worries reasonable?

[MrsSnape]

I met a man online about 3 weeks ago. I knew from the off that he was a VERY sociable person, he noted in his online profile that he had lots of friends of both sexes and that they liked to go out A LOT.

I got talking to him and he seemed very nice but he litrally was out all the time, at least 4 or 5 nights a week he was out with friends.

We were talking via msn and he kept asking me where I go on a night out and everything and he told me his locals. In all honesty I am really not the kind of person that likes to be out boozing all the time. He asked me if I wanted to go for a drink to meet up for the 1st time, I agreed and he suggested his local. He asked me if I wanted him to pick me up or meet him there, obviously I said I'd meet him but I was a bit wary of meeting in HIS local...not really sure why but I have visions of walking in to crowds of his mates etc.

I think he sensed my worry because he asked me if I would rather meet at my local, I don't even have a local! but he said he would prefer his because its a really good place etc....

I'm having reservations....

He is much more sociable than me and I think if we were a couple I would hate him to be going out so much.

Secondly he has his daughter on a weekend, I can only go out on a weekend so its going to get awkward....

My main passion is travelling and when I mentioned this to him he said "yeah, I like to get about" and started going on about places in the UK, I meant worldwide and it put me off a bit.

Mostly, I really don't see where a potential partner would fit in to his social life.

Am I making stupid excuses or are these worries founded?

I wouldn't bother if I had as many reservations as you have.

You should always go with your gut in these things, IME, and it sounds like you're just completely incompatible.

A lot of people will say, 'Well, go and give him a chance.'

But on the other hand, why waste your time?

He sounds like someone who likes to do the majority of his hanging out in a drinking establishment and you have other ideas.

There are millions of other men out there, why waste your time?

I can see why you're deterred. I have never really been into going out loads, even at uni and always found that the odd times I dated people who were really sociable we didn't "click" and I found them a bit...vacuous. By all means give it a go (there's nothing to lose, right?) but I don't think your reservations are unfounded.

if you're uncomfortable about going to his local and he couldn't suggest any other alternative but another pub, and you're not into that, why bother?

can't he think of something else to do besides meet up for a drink?

i'd be wary of that, because i went out with a chap like that, and yeah, i like a drink, but that is all he wanted to do.

You sound as though you are looking at this through the eyes of experience, in other words you're being realistic. So you're not building up your hopes. But, if you don't at least meet him, you're giving up before you even start.

What have you got to lose? Yes, you might have an uncomfortable couple of hours; or you might have a fun evening with a nice bunch of people & never see them again; or you might really hit it off with him & be glad you gave it a go.

It sounds as if he's sensitive to how you're feeling - do you really think he'd drag you into a huge group of his mates & then ignore you all evening? It doesn't sound likely to me. Go on - you might enjoy it!

ONe date won't kill you (well, it's not that likely he's a mad axeman) and at least he's offering to meet in a public place. I agree that if you have no interests in common you probably won't want more than the one date, but if you get too picky at the pre-date stage you can miss out on people who might potentially be nice new friends. He offered to meet you at your local, too - basically asking someone to meet for a drink doesn;t always imply 'dribbling pisshead' it's just a low-key, relaxed way to meet, sometimes: arrangin a dinner date can seem a bit intimidating for some people.

If he is single, it's a very normal way for men to spend their time. It isn't any reflection on how he would behave in a relationship, so I would go, but keep this query in the back of my mind and try to clear it up by finding out what he did of an evening when he was in a relationship, IYSWIM.

Aww go... You have nothing to lose and he may well be a really lovely guy. He probably just goes out a lot as he is single... you will never know what may have been if you dont go... and if he turns out to be a raving pisshead then move swiftly on.. go for it.