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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend is a user

9 replies

Claire926 · 31/10/2024 10:54

My friend previously asked me to go away with her. I have told her no and to find someone else to go with. She has messaged again saying she needs a holiday and her other friends can’t go as they have families.

I am really annoyed now. I have already said no twice. She is just a user and only gets in touch when things are not going well for her. If I went away with her she will moan about her problems and pathetic druggie alcoholic domestic abuser ex who told her all these red flags on their first dates but she chose to ignore. I know she would not pay for accommodation, petrol or food and she will say it is because she is on carers allowance and not working. She has no idea how expensive going away is these days. Even I had to do day trips this summer instead of staying over somewhere.

I am not paying for someone to use me for a free holiday. There must be a respite carer holiday scheme.

OP posts:
Neodymium · 31/10/2024 10:57

Why are you friends with her? Block her and move on. She sounds vile.

Iwashopingnottobreakmyduck · 31/10/2024 10:57

Dear x I have said no twice, it’s a hard no here. Please respect my decision or I will have to reconsider our friendship.

Any comeback - just block

pinkyredrose · 31/10/2024 11:00

She's not your friend. Dump.

Claire926 · 31/10/2024 18:31

Thank you for your replies. I reiterated to her again I am not going. I sent her links to carers breaks. If she is that stressed from caring then they can find her a holiday.

OP posts:
Claire926 · 31/10/2024 20:28

So angry, she has questioned why I can’t go away! I wish she would just go away with an activity group. They could chaperone her.

OP posts:
Itabsolutelyispossible · 31/10/2024 21:10

"I am not going away because I don't want to".

Opentooffers · 31/10/2024 21:13

Just tell her you can't afford it, so you don't think she can either, nice though it may sound, it's a no!

Brandyb · 31/10/2024 21:16

Is she expecting you to pay?

Edited to add: sorry just reread your post - she won't pay her full share.

It doesn't sound like you like her very much, so reiterate the hard no and maybe let the friendship slide.

Thevelvelletes · 31/10/2024 23:57

Foot down time...I'm not going on a holiday with you.END OF.

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