Separating - to move area or not?

[ContemplationStage]

I’m planning/getting my ducks in a row to separate from my p. We have 2 children, 5 and 1. I asked a few weeks ago about custody split and am assuming it would be 50/50 from the responses - not what I want at all but it is what it is.

Older child is settled in reception in a lovely local school walking distance from our current home. It’s a really lovely area and he has friends here, so do I. Problem is, it’s expensive. It won’t be an option for me to stay in our current home with the DC once we separate and we will have yo sell up and each buy a separate home I think (very privileged position and I’m not begrudging it). Only thing I can afford locally is a 2 bedroom flat (v small). Or I could move approx 2/3 miles away and buy a small but decent 2/3 bed house with garden - much less nice area, pretty rough (not a snob at all and I grew up there, just worth mentioning it isn’t as nice). We could potentially keep DC in the same school but it would mean a car journey in bad traffic to do so (and getting a car - currently share one with P).

my questions are:

1. upon leaving, did anyone have 2 children in a small flat and what was it like?
2. did anyone move the children schools/areas, what was it like?
3. did anyone move out of area but keep children in school, what was it like?

minimal disruption is best in my mind which would mean option 1 (small flat, same area, same school) but what I can afford is tiny and I mean tiny. I could uproot them and move them schools to a different area which would mean nicer house/own bedroom possibly and garden but upheaval.

thoughts welcome? This all feels overwhelming at the mo but honesty welcomed, it helps to hear from people who’ve done it and survived.

Do you think that your ex will want to stay in the former marital home ? He may also be happy to move to an area with cheaper housing (maybe closer to his work to save on commuting times and costs too ?)

My son moved schools in the summer holidays between Reception and Year 1 and it worked out well for him. The new school was great and he got to stay at the school until the end of year 6. Moving schools during the 7 years of primary isn’t unusual so don’t feel guilty if you decide to move him. Some secondaries have feeder primaries so it might be a good idea to put him on the waiting list of very close primaries so he can go up to secondary school with some of his year 6 class. (I know that year 6 seems like ages away when your child is in Reception 😂 )

However things pan out, good luck 💐

We divorced, I moved to another village a few miles away and bought a smaller house. Kids stayed in their schools. Ex has since moved an hour away after saying he wanted the marital home so they weren't disturbed, and since we share 50 50 custody he's having to deal with a hour each way commute to their schools..he's suggested they move to schools between us both but this doesn't work with catchment areas or indeed their own wishes.

If you think the school is as good in the area you’d move to then I think I’d go for option 3.
Although 2/3 miles doesn’t sound that bad. A few kids lived about 4/5 miles from school in my DS’s class. If you need to increase your hours at work you might want to consider if you’ll need extra childcare & if either school offers a better before & afterschool club.