Could this work?!

[Anon645]

Hi,
Wondering if anyone has experience of this ? My partner cheated on me last year with a lady who was married. Me and her husband found out and both of our partners left us to be together.

Myself and the man who was cheated on have started to become friendly and been on a date. He says he really likes me but his worried. He is worried about what his ex wife will say about him being with me, and similarly what my ex will say.

They share 3 children

I have found myself really liking him and really enjoyed our date and would like to continue.
Any advice or experience?

Well this is the thing- he obviously sees his ex regularly for handover of the children etc. I'm not insecure about that. I accept its necessary.
Bear in mind this is the woman who was complicit in the cheating on me with my previous partner.... but I don't hold it against this guy that his ex wife did that as its not his fault she did.

And like someone else said I'd rarely see my ex , but he sees his ex a lot more regularly obviously for handovers.

I genuinely cannot understand why it matters so much about my ex boyfriend. Yes my ex boyfriend and his ex wife cheated togeher. And me and this man are both victims of that pain.

I know he's angry and resentful of my ex boyfriend's actions which I understand , and he sees me as a constant reminder of him i think. I think he feels dating me is a constant reminder of the man who helped break up his family (as I used to be with him so there's a link )

He said this 'I don't like that you were with him at all and that's not rational or your fault or even fair, just how I feel'

If you're crying after one date you aren't ready. That's OTT.

I have known him for longer than that, and we have been close chatting regularly /long phone calls etc. I knew him before the dating.
But it has hurt me yes.

My thought too!

@Anon645 maybe go on a few dates with others? Don't just rely on him for company. Hard I know if you really like someone.

What really really bothers me and confused rotten is that we are both in the same situation.

He spent years in a relationship with the woman who cheated with my partner but that wouldn't stop me from dating him.

And obviously by the same token I used to be the partner of the man she left him for but that is stopping him dating me further.

We are both on the same situation just roles reversed so I'm so very confused and upset why he isn't responding the same way I am.

Maybe he's dating others?

He said he has insecurities and hang ups about me having a common link to the man his ex wife left him for .

He sent this via text 'I don't like that you were with him at all and that's not rational or your fault or even fair, just how I feel'

I think you need to accept that this isn't going to happen, OP.

Whether you understand it or not, he's given you his reasons.

Nope he will get resentment down the line. He will get close to you to ask more about him as when someone leaves you the amount of questions you have about why them and not you. What brought you together isn’t healthy and it’s built on no doubt slagging off each others exes. He doesn’t sound even near ready to date especially you it’s not like he met someone unrelated to it all that feels like a fresh start. He will be triggered constantly.

You bonded so well because you share the same experience at the same time.