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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tip/Advice on how to survive weekend

28 replies

CookieMonster28 · 30/10/2024 09:00

Visiting DHs family this weekend and all week I have had a horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I am feeling really anxious and my MH feels on edge at the thought of this weekend.

Superficially get on with DHs family but they (particularly MIL) always cause upset every time we see them by making tactless comments and showing obvious favouritism to golden balls BIL, they are very self indulgent. A lot of my hurt also stems from fact I feel they make very little effort with my DC (1st grandchild) have not seen since July, and have only seen 5 times (she's 15 months). They don't live so far away that it's an excuse IMO. Never addressed this with ILs as they will just be defensive and justify it til the cows come home. They have made it clear they aren't overly interested and are patiently waiting for BIL and his wife to have children (MIL has previously commented that that will be when she becomes a grandmother!)

Anyway - just looking for any advice/tips to navigate the weekend. I will not engage too much in conversation purely because I am exhausted by it all. MIL has tendency to ask very blunt to the point questions that are hard to avoid. I am also sick at the thought that they will want to try and play 'worlds best grandparents' with my DC who they haven't seen in months and the thought makes me sick to my stomach! I am literally going for my husband's sake, have already gone LC with MIL, NC not really an option right now as would cause issues with DH.

Sorry for the ramble...but just after advice or tips on how to survive the weekend without affecting my sanity and MH!

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 30/10/2024 13:44

CookieMonster28 · 30/10/2024 12:19

Thanks for your input but I'm really not.
Have had numerous people comment on her behaviour and she's fallen out with lots of people!

I think you're misunderstood that poster. They're not saying you are like that, they're saying you can be if you want to.

You don't have to play nice, you can be just as blunt and rude as your MIL. Don't fall into the trap of keeping the peace, balancing the boat, just for your husband's sake.

CookieMonster28 · 30/10/2024 14:05

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 30/10/2024 13:44

I think you're misunderstood that poster. They're not saying you are like that, they're saying you can be if you want to.

You don't have to play nice, you can be just as blunt and rude as your MIL. Don't fall into the trap of keeping the peace, balancing the boat, just for your husband's sake.

Oh I see what you mean! Oops - yes has crossed my mind but not sure if it'll exacerbate the situation. Hard to know whether to just stay quiet or to say anything! She'll probably end up playing the victim if I dare be even the slightest bit rude or blunt! Sometimes wonder whether she does it on purpose to try and get a reaction out of me and DH!

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 30/10/2024 17:30

I wouldn't go, as you say she's shown barely any interest in your baby so why bother? However if you feel you must support your DH then for heavens sake don't stay over with them, stay in a travel lodge or similar then at least you can escape.

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