Do you and OH have date nights?

[ThePrincess]

Been feeling really disconnected from DH lately, probably down to the fact he works full time, I stay home with both kids under the age of 3 and do most of the household chores, we also sleep in separate rooms due to his snoring (earplugs don't even drone it out!). We have sex around 2-3 times a week.

We don't have any friends or family nearby to babysit and one of our DC is diabetic and replies on us 24/7 so went can't just leave him with someone who doesn't know how to deal with it.

I brought up the idea of at home date nights after the kids have been put to bed around 6 months ago and DH said it was a good idea but it still hasn't happened.

He always puts oldest dc to bed and he ends up falling asleep at the same time and is too tiredthem and just goes to bed. I just stay up and watch tv and relax by myself. It's so lonely and I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for myself.

Do you have date nights at home? Please
Give me some ideas!

Relies*

Yes, do them at home. Take turns organising, start with once every 2-3 weeks maybe?

Movie night, get some popcorn and sweets in.
Board games/jigsaws/chess/jenga and a few beers.
Paint by numbers or I saw some ’paint a Christmas mug’ sets in Tiger recently.
Homemade pizza night, or Mexican or whatever you like. Cook together, set the table, light a candle.
Massages!
Bake a cake or dessert together.

Thanks for replying, I love the bake a cake together idea! I worked in a small bakery before having kids and never lost my love for baking just rarely get the time these days x

But of a decadent one but we recently hired a private chef to do exactly that - facilitate an at home date night after kids in bed! It meant we didn't have to cook or clean up after cooking/eating, it felt so special, the food was really good and in the grand scheme of things it wasn't as expensive as I'd have thought (partly because we didn't need to pay a babysitter for us to go out). We still got dressed up and spritzed on perfume/aftershave.

In the summer we borrowed a projector and hung a bedsheet from the back of the house to have a film night in our back garden. That was also fun! Could do that one dry night before it gets too bitterly, snuggle up under blankets with a hot beverage!

I thoroughly recommend both. Anything to change up what a normal evening looks like essentially. Our kids are just turned 4 and 18m.

We have one once a week at home if we can and go out once a month for dinner.

We do! Kind of "official" dress up and go out ones maybe twice a month if we can, but proper at home ones once a week.

Sometimes we cook together, which isn't rare as we do it most nights, but we pick a country and a fun looking food and go shopping for ingredients, put some music on and share a bit of wine. Other times we'll do a boardgame (221B Baker Street is FAB!), or just go and lounge in the bath together then have massages and all of that good stuff. We like crafts so we'll do that together, he's currently teaching me violin (I swoon and get very distracted 🤣), we read out loud to each other.

Camping inside! We've set up blanket forts! In the pandemic we actually set up a proper tent in the living room. 😂 Made it all very realistic. Could have gone outside, but it was winter plus the baby monitor was crap the further away you went, or something like that. Can't remember now.

Sometimes we'll go online and order ahem fun things to play with when we go to bed, so there's something a bit new to explore!

Hi@ThePrincess
Bear with me here I am not religious but I discovered a Christian marriage/sex improvement app I use the free version but you can upgrade.
Its called intimately us.

It has an entire section on fun date nights and also other ideas and quite cute adult games. It’s definitely Mumsnet friendly.

We did the UV date night. Amazon usb UV strips and UV paint. Had a dance around the kitchen and some interesting post vino painting 😳. It’s certainly worth a look.

Have fun!!

Nope. Never. Don't go out together, don't spend time in together. Sleep in separate rooms. Go to bed at different times. Last spell of intimacy in July.

I suspect you're in the majority 😁

We just use inlaws and go on short holidays or city breaks together. If not one of us will cook and we'll pamper each other. Lots of sex. This is just normal life, not a deliberate specific date every week or month.

Not many no.

That's more a choice though. If we're going out and spending money we'd rather do it with DC.

We get plenty of time together most evenings and weekends so feel very connected anyway.

Once or twice a year we'll splash out on a night away just the two of us. I'd rather do that than more frequent smaller date nights.

Not date nights but making a conscious effort to put phones away, decide what we want to watch together or playing a board game really helps with connection.

Ours are older now so we can also go for a dog walk together and nip into the pub on the way home which is lovely.