How not to take his ED personally.

[hopeforfuture]

I'm a bit sad for my chap who I've been seeing for many years in a very casual relationship. Almost FWB. We've had incredible sex for 8 years and the last couple of times he's really been up for it and got an erection straight away, although lost it towards the end.
He's now told me that he doesn't want sex anymore and has written (by text) 'I've become less aroused by our sex recently so just want to be friends'.
For me, it's come out of the blue but I can't help but think that I'm now so revolting to him in bed?
He's 55.
Is it me?

You should look at the ED stats for men. Increasingly common at this age. He probably won't admit it to himself. If that is the case, it would probably be downhill from here in any case.

If he wasn't showing any signs of ED or sexual embarrassment/reluctance until recently then it's unlikely to be the problem. ED doesn't usually develop suddenly. Most likely he's found someone else. He's certainly no wordsmith is he.

Ouch.

I don't think I'd be "friends" after that, tbh.

Yes I'm afraid it sounds like this. He may have started some new medication (I think some heart and blood pressure meds can create difficulties maintaining an erection) were you actually friends ? Because it's a very blunt text even if his ego has been destroyed.

@ballybooboo We were incredibly good friends but he's ex army and keeps his emotions totally to himself. He's never said a harsh word before and I'm shocked how excellent sex has suddenly gone so weird. It's only that last two occasions that halfway through, he's lost his erection. He initiated the sex and was uber keen!
He's not a porn watcher. I am happy to watch porn but it doesn't do it for him.
I'm so confused.