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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to help my friend get over this loser guy?

6 replies

tinycrumps · 28/10/2024 20:25

So my girlfriend has been single for a couple of years and dipped her toe into online dating. She met a guy she quite liked, and they went on a few dates, he seemed VERY into her, but then he ghosted her. He came back a month later, with what seemed like a legit reason, and they dated for 6 weeks or so, and after having an amazing date (I saw his last message saying what a fantastic night he had, it was the best start to his weekend, with lots of emoji kisses), she never heard from him again. This has really dented her confidence and we have talked about it for hours. She keeps wondering if it's something she said or did. It obviously wasn't!

My friend is an absolute stunner - and I'm not just saying this because she is my friend. She is very good looking and the most wonderful person. Lively, bubbly, kind, gorgeous etc. The overall package.

Meanwhile, this guy was several leagues below her - dead end job, massive stoner, etc. From all the drug use, he looks 15 years older. Rationally, she knows all of this - that she's had a lucky escape. I've told her it's him, not her etc. But it's stopped her from going out on any more dates. Aside from being her friend and listening, what else can I do. Suggest therapy? I wish people (like this man) would stop being so shitty!

OP posts:
AnotherVice · 28/10/2024 20:29

She will start dating again in time but it's no bad thing if she takes a break for a while.

DarkBlueStocking · 28/10/2024 20:35

Well, surely it’s the fact of this guy being, in your view at least, ‘several leagues below her’ that stings? That she is much more of a catch than he is, but he still dropped her twice…?

TwistedWonder · 28/10/2024 20:36

Other than being a supportive friend, there’s nothing you can do. She’ll be ready in her own time.

OnlyHerefortheBiscuits · 28/10/2024 20:45

DarkBlueStocking · 28/10/2024 20:35

Well, surely it’s the fact of this guy being, in your view at least, ‘several leagues below her’ that stings? That she is much more of a catch than he is, but he still dropped her twice…?

This.

She will be re questioning her worth right about now.

Duckduckgoose24 · 28/10/2024 20:48

Buy her the Lalalaletmeexplain book Block Delete and Move on.

tinycrumps · 28/10/2024 20:48

DarkBlueStocking · 28/10/2024 20:35

Well, surely it’s the fact of this guy being, in your view at least, ‘several leagues below her’ that stings? That she is much more of a catch than he is, but he still dropped her twice…?

Well, no. Ghosting is a shitty thing to do regardless.

OP posts:
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