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Original poster

Lonely.. How can I make new friends?

20 replies

Blimey97 · 28/10/2024 17:03

I hope no one states the obvious here.. but I need ideas on how I can make new friends. I'm a 27F, have a 8 month DD and a DP. Other than my DP, I only have 1 close friend and when that friend is busy and my DP is out, I have no friends to chat to or hang out with. I've been feeling so lonely recently. I get along well with the people I work with but I don't know if I'd hang out with any of them outside of work as we all seem SO different (in ages, interests etc). I have 1 hobby but I haven't manged to make friends there, either. I use Bumble BFF but had no luck there as most people I match with never reply or stop replying after a few message exchanges. Any ideas? I should also mention I'm shy and introverted so that makes it harder, too!

OP posts:
Iwantabrightsunnyday · 28/10/2024 17:04

I do fb groups and a book group

Soitis83 · 28/10/2024 17:07

Baby groups? Some of my closest friends are because we met via the children (school, nursery ect)

SkaneTos · 28/10/2024 17:09

How/where did you meet your DP?
Maybe you can meet new friends the same way?

Cerialkiller · 28/10/2024 17:11

Everyone will suggest going to hobby groups but I find this is limited use. The only group where this worked for me was a very very niche group in a nerdy writing subgenre. If you can find a group where people are likely to have a similar personality as you.

Meetup was a good online group finder for your area.

Original poster
Blimey97 · 28/10/2024 17:26

Iwantabrightsunnyday · 28/10/2024 17:04

I do fb groups and a book group

How do you go about doing this? I'd love a book club but there are none in my area, any tips on starting one?

OP posts:
Original poster
Blimey97 · 28/10/2024 17:26

Soitis83 · 28/10/2024 17:07

Baby groups? Some of my closest friends are because we met via the children (school, nursery ect)

I go to one but haven't made any friends yet, mind you, it's early days.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blimey97 · 28/10/2024 17:27

SkaneTos · 28/10/2024 17:09

How/where did you meet your DP?
Maybe you can meet new friends the same way?

Edited

At school. I only have 1 school friend left, I just drifted away from others and/or fell out with them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blimey97 · 28/10/2024 17:27

Cerialkiller · 28/10/2024 17:11

Everyone will suggest going to hobby groups but I find this is limited use. The only group where this worked for me was a very very niche group in a nerdy writing subgenre. If you can find a group where people are likely to have a similar personality as you.

Meetup was a good online group finder for your area.

I could try meetup, thanks!

OP posts:
SkaneTos · 28/10/2024 22:11

I think making friends in a hobby group does not always work, but it can work!
If you want to make good real friends in a hobby group/club/society, then you have to give it time, and really get involved in the group. And when I say give it time, I mean like several years!
The good thing about a hobby group/club/society is that you all have the same interest, so you will always have things to talk about.

And depending on what kind of group/club it is, you and the other members will work together on projects and have common goals, which will give you a great bond. That is my experience.

I wish you good luck, OP, and all the best. It's not always easy to make new friends as an adult, but it is possible!

BabyCloud · 28/10/2024 22:14

Your baby gives you the perfect opportunity to go and make new mum friends. If you don’t settle into a group keep trying more.

BabyCloud · 28/10/2024 22:15

Cerialkiller · 28/10/2024 17:11

Everyone will suggest going to hobby groups but I find this is limited use. The only group where this worked for me was a very very niche group in a nerdy writing subgenre. If you can find a group where people are likely to have a similar personality as you.

Meetup was a good online group finder for your area.

The only groups local to me seem to be for pensioners on a weekday morning.

Grmumpy · 28/10/2024 22:19

Do you have a library anywhere near. Our library has two or three book groups. I belong to one and we all get on well. The good thing with our library is that there are sets of books which circulate across the various libraries in the borough so we don’t have to buy the books which is a big bonus. We each choose a book from the list so get to read a wide variety of stuff.

Toffeeeapple · 28/10/2024 22:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HairCutHarry · 28/10/2024 22:32

Definitely go to baby groups. I am an introvert and find it difficult to make new friends. The friends I made in baby group 15ish years ago I still meet up with. The kids meet up more often too. Well they are 16 now...

Pinkmoonshine · 28/10/2024 22:34

Babies and children are great opportunities to make new friends. Keep going! I think it’s regular habits that gets you there. Sharing something or doing something together.

CrispyCrumpets · 28/10/2024 22:43

Go to ALL the baby groups, not just one. Figure out what's on every day and go there. Most churches and community centres do them for a couple of quid. See what the childrens centres are doing. Libraries have baby groups, NCT or breastfeeding groups often have free stuff going on. Play cafes or soft play, if your baby is crawling.

Then there are the subscription type of groups that you pay a bit more for. Pram walks, forest school, messy play, baby sign, sensory groups, mum and baby exercise classes.

Get on a local mums FB group and ask if anyone else wants to meet other mums and arrange a local walk or ask about the best groups and hangouts.

Mum pals are a lifeline when you are looking after a baby all day. You have to try them all to increase the odds of meeting people you click with.

Toffeeeapple · 28/10/2024 22:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CrispyCrumpets · 28/10/2024 22:48

Well that's why you have to get about a bit, so you meet a broad range of people.

Original poster
Blimey97 · 29/10/2024 14:42

SkaneTos · 28/10/2024 22:11

I think making friends in a hobby group does not always work, but it can work!
If you want to make good real friends in a hobby group/club/society, then you have to give it time, and really get involved in the group. And when I say give it time, I mean like several years!
The good thing about a hobby group/club/society is that you all have the same interest, so you will always have things to talk about.

And depending on what kind of group/club it is, you and the other members will work together on projects and have common goals, which will give you a great bond. That is my experience.

I wish you good luck, OP, and all the best. It's not always easy to make new friends as an adult, but it is possible!

Thank you! Great advice. I definitely need to give it more time as I haven't been going to these groups for very long.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blimey97 · 29/10/2024 14:43

CrispyCrumpets · 28/10/2024 22:43

Go to ALL the baby groups, not just one. Figure out what's on every day and go there. Most churches and community centres do them for a couple of quid. See what the childrens centres are doing. Libraries have baby groups, NCT or breastfeeding groups often have free stuff going on. Play cafes or soft play, if your baby is crawling.

Then there are the subscription type of groups that you pay a bit more for. Pram walks, forest school, messy play, baby sign, sensory groups, mum and baby exercise classes.

Get on a local mums FB group and ask if anyone else wants to meet other mums and arrange a local walk or ask about the best groups and hangouts.

Mum pals are a lifeline when you are looking after a baby all day. You have to try them all to increase the odds of meeting people you click with.

Great advice, thank you! My baby loves getting out and about too, so it's a good idea to go to more groups.

OP posts:
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