Should I just call it quits

[LuckyHiker]

i feel like I’m getting really drained right now. Something just always happens that always gets me down , I’ll have a brilliant month with him where I’m happy and then something stupid just brings me back down again. Me and my partner of 4yrs nearly , we rarely get child free weekends as my mum is busy or tired with work and so is his mum. He always says to me whenever both our kids are gone for the weekend he’ll take me out on the like the cinema for example but then never happens, we just stay indoors and then he’s always asking me for sex then it just puts me off so i say no sorry im not in the mood , by Sunday comes the kids are back, I haven’t really been in the mood all weekend I’ve been very quiet and he asks me on the Sunday night do u want to have sex and I say too him your doing this on purpose aren’t you ? And he says what ? So I say no im sorry I don’t want to have sex and he said ok love u night and goes to sleep. Does this all the time even when he says he’s bought me something he’ll always say he’s bought me something nice like some sort of jewellery or trainers but then is always left at either his nans or stepdads mates house and I wouldn’t get it at all
am I overreacting ?I just feel drained.

He then messages today to say he thinks he’s going out on Saturday so if I want to go out on Friday he’ll watch the kids. Now I’m just thinking why can’t you take me out on our kid free nights ?

Bin him off and free yourself.

Why don't you just go out yourself? No point staying in with him resenting him. Call a friend and go out. Or just go to the cinema yourself.

Obviously the bigger problem is that he keeps making promises he has no intention of following through on. You need to stop falling for it - the hope here is blinding you to the reality.

Are they his children or yours from a previous relationship?

Is your home rented or owned - if owned, by who?

What do you get from this relationship?

Without finding fault basically the two of you are not well matched. Read the book in “five love languages “ and realize that you need/want/speak different love languages. (That doesn’t mean you can teach him yours. He has to want to speak your language and he doesn’t want to.)

Basically you feel loved when he spoils you, gifts you, makes plans with you, does the work of arranging something special for you.

He just wants sex. Or to go out with a friend without you.

He is even willing to trade childcare duties and let you go out without him! He is willing to sacrifice time and convenience for a puss up with a friend but not you.

You will not get what you want from him. He just wants sex and time to do his own thing. He doesn’t care that you would like him to keep his promises and fuss over you.

Cut your losses and bin this man off. Raise your bar a lot higher going forward.