Husband hiding his mobile

[LaraS2511]

I have been married 12 yrs, together for 20+ yrs. My husband has become more & more secretive with his mobile phone, he use to leave it around the house on a table but I have noticed he has started to keep it in his pocket all the time & at night doesn’t seem to be in his trousers/shorts which he leaves besides the bed, I think he hides it at night. Years ago I looked at it, I didn’t find much but I haven’t in ages & think he is hiding something. Mine is always lying around, I have zero reason to hide it. I caught him lying about some finances in the last year or so which has caused issues but he told me it’s sorted. I don’t know what is on it but I’m highly suspicious. Shall I try & search for it & look at it or just confront him about it?

Is he doing anything else weird, changed his appearance or started using a gym?

Search it before you confront him. Read the evidence so you know what's going on first. He might completely lie or delete stuff if you confront first.

It's always a bad sign, I'm afraid.

No point confronting him as he will just deny anything and then what will you do? Would you really leave and divorce him for "not leaving his phone lying around "? I doubt it, so all confronting him will achieve is to make him be even more careful/secretive.

No, makes no real effort! He has never set foot in gym. He has very little free time to be seeing someone else but I’m still very suspicious.

Could he be gambling or something similar? It's NOT hard to get pulled in online now.

It sounds like you have reason to be concerned but is finding it likely to be helpful? If you found my phone you’d need a my passcode to get in and read anything. Is confrontation likely to work? Can you tell when he lies to you?

You’d probably have more success looking for other clues to what’s happening. What was the finance issue that he lied about? Do you have shared finances? Can you check what he’s spending and whether it’s different from what he was spending before that lie and before he started hiding his phone?

Trying to look for it might work if you know the passcode/pattern but if he's being that secretive surely he will have changed it? It might be worth looking at your joint finances, credit report etc to see if anything has changed recently. It is worth talking to him about it but how honest will he be if he is trying to hide things from you? Be direct. Say you need to know what's going on. You are married and if it's linked to finances could impact you/your family. Much better to know than be in the dark.

If he doesn't have much free time it could be a woman at work or something else like porn addiction or gambling.

This.

If you had issues with finances, then I would assume those issues are still ongoing.

When he said it was all sorted, did you just believe him or did you see what he had put in place to site out said issue? And is it likely that it happened again?