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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Temporary Separation - How to Reconnect?

1 reply

BlackBean2023 · 27/10/2024 13:38

DH and I have had a bad couple of years. We spent a couple of weeks apart in May/June but lots of tears later we ended up slipping back to our norm.

Two weeks ago I asked DH to stay at his parents for a few weeks to give me some space. He was a bit blindsided (I don't know how he thought everything was OK!).

My issues:

  • lack of affection. Sex is fine but no kisses/cuddles/touching outside of sexual contact
  • we never do anything together. This isn't new but I've started doing things with friends and it's made me realise what I'm missing.
  • we don't talk. DH is an avid gamer and once the kids are in bed the headphones go on and he's lost to the virtual world.
  • his snoring. Less of an issue but tbh I have been knackered because of poor sleep which might be exacerbating the rest.

DH says he's willing to change and has been in regular contact the last fortnight and does seem to be making some effort. We have booked to start marriage counselling to start next week. We both want to save the marriage if we can.

I don't want him to move back into the house until I'm sure there's a sustained improvement and it's not just lip service. I've missed him immensely the last fortnight in lots of ways but in equal measure I have felt the most relaxed in a long time.

I'm not really sure what my question is, just that the end goal seems so far away and out kids (16 and 9) keep pushing for him to come home.

OP posts:
5475878237NC · 27/10/2024 13:39

Maybe this is the first order of business for couple's counselling? How do we build a connection whilst working through the issues that need to be addressed?

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