Ghosted after mentioning Funeral...

[Notsurewhatodohere]

I connected with a man on a dating App recently, it was very early days but going well, lots of fun banter and messaged, he looked to be very much my type and we seemed to have plenty in common. I let him know I was going to be away for a week and would check in when I got back from the trip, he suggested a date idea for my return and I agreed. When I got back he seemed happy and was still fun and flirty but after I mentioned that my trip had been for a funeral he disappeared immediately, We were messaging every day but I haven’t heard from him for 3 days. All I said was, “The trip was heavy (funeral) but it went as well as it could have.” Which I thought was quite minimal. Then I followed up with something lighter about the weather but the mention of a funeral seems to have scared him off... I have to admit I was really looking forward to meeting him so am quite disappointed. I’m assuming that he’s gone for good. Do you think I should block him or just leave things open in case he resurfaces? It seems he’s basically telling me he’s not up for offering any kind of emotional support to someone that he’s minimally invested in. Is that about right? I would have been more than happy with “I’m sorry for your loss”.
Thanks!

I'd actually be interested to know what's happened! Was the date confirmed?

Could have had an in person date with potential in the last week and not wanted to meet two in person so let it fizzle.

Perhaps recentlyish bereaved himself and couldn't face a stranger's grief or funeral talk on a date (I'm sure you wouldn't have gone into details on a first date but he might've been on high alert).

As others say, only wanted what Marilyn Monroe called 'the Happy Girl'.

Coincidence re funeral mention and a tech/ app glitch or busy and might be back if you're on the app? Don't hold out for this but if he comes back and giving appropriate responses I'd give a chance

Eh? How on earth^^ is that personal? It's clear you asked him what he'd been doing so he answered you! Would you rather he lie?

Since when is having a friend who passed away a 'personal' thing?!?

I wouldn’t have told him tbh. Nobody wants to hear about death in the very early days.

Some people are very odd about things like illness and death, its amazing how many friends I lost when my Dad was ill even just telling a girl I was friendly with at the time in passing that my dad was ill with cancer made her tell me to stop being a drag! I'm always very wary of sharing personal negative news with anyone but those closest to me as I feel that most people don't want to know and even feel burdened by it.

Thanks everyone for all the helpful replies, I love Mumsnet!
The update is that he hasn’t responded to my message but he hasn’t blocked me yet… I’m sure he will soon but I have the feeling he’s leaving it as he wants me to block him first to let him off the hook easily. I’m tempted to leave things hanging until it’s been at least a week. If he’s dropping me because he doesn’t want to be around someone who has been recently bereaved I would like him to own that.
Even if he was losing interest I think any decent guy would have responded with a short sympathetic message. He could have faded me out after that. It was my Mum who died btw. (I didn’t mention this to him) but not saying anything at all about it for fear that it might put him off did not feel like the right thing to do. I had been jokey and “fun” with him before and after the trip so it was clear that I was coping ok. If there are any other updates I’ll let you know but it’s going to be unlikely. Just to add I understand that with OLD people are seeing others and often meet someone they’re more interested in or after a bit of chat they feel that they're not clicking with you, what baffles me is the way humans treat each other as entirely disposable and don’t have any manners. I would never ghost anyone who had been behaving normally towards me but many men have done this to me as soon as they’ve decided they’re not interested… I find it very spineless.

Oh @Notsurewhatodohere Im so sorry about your mum. My dad passed away on the 6th October and its so hard.

You are overthinking this.
He was probably going to ghost you anyway.
Time to move on.

@JenniferBooth I’m sorry about your Dad, it is really tough, sending hugs.

I'm so sorry about your mum 💐

momentum is quite big with OLD, especially before meeting. It could be no more than that really.

If it is because he doesn't want to get into bereavement with someone new for his own reasons new he may be thinking it's kinder to leave it open rather than 'own it' and explain why. You don't know each other so it isn't a breakup or personal but may feel quite rough to hear.

Online chats fizzle all the time. This seems to be one of them. I really wouldn't give it another thought. You probably wouldn't even recognise each other in a busy street at this stage.

Thank you, you're right, I’ve ended the chat now and feel much better about it, I think I was just looking forward to a fun distraction as things have been tough but it wasn’t a good match.

Personally, I think that someone who reacts this way to any mention of anything negative is a red flag for narcissism. It has to be all about them and it's our job to make them feel happy. They don't want real life.

Wow, my reaction would have been, 'How are you feeling, I am really sorry to hear this'.

OP, I think you have dodged a bullet. I am really sorry to hear about your mum.