How to make new friends at age 40?

[DontDarnMe]

I've posted about my shitty love-life but just wondering if anyone's made friends at the age of 40?
I have friends from childhood I'm in touch with, but a lot of them have moved away.
Uni friends who I see from time to time.
Was in the same job for about 15 years but left on very bad terms so do not have any friends from there.
New job we work remotely so whilst everyone is nice, they live all over the UK and we never see each other in person.
Am friendly with school mums but not friends per se with any of them.
I have realised I am just incredibly lonely a lot of the time, such as when DC are with their father (shared care). I am realising I am craving connections on the dating apps so I am not alone as well as for sex / romance / intimacy.

When DC are here, I am not lonely.

Has anyone actually made any new friends at this age? I feel like such a loser 😔

I’m 51 & over the past decade I’ve made friends through women’s rights campaigning, going to the gym, various classes & volunteering at the local cat rescue.

Are you able to get out & do anything regularly?

Is there a ladies circle near you?
https://www.ladiescircle.co.uk

Yes - I've moved around a lot at 30, 40 & 50+ and find it easy to make friends .. but I am a great 'joiner', I look for groups / hobbies that I am interested in and meet like minded people ... some become friends, others remain acquaintances but I don't find it difficult (& I am nothing 'special' or have a scintillating personality but just happy to muck in with projects & get involved).

This theme of thread pops up regularly which makes me think there is a market for adult friendships.
Mumsnet are missing a trick not having a friendsnet where people get chatting to other people in their local areas and arrange meet ups etc

Its really hard for some people to make friends and what I see on here a lot which is worse than no pals - disgusting ones who use good pals for their own gain.

I'm one of those annoying chatty people who makes friends with everyone, I made one of my bffs when waiting in line for a covid jab whilst still social distancing. We had such a giggle (maybe post lockdown hysteria) in the queue I asked her to add me on social media and years later we speak constantly and meet up quite a lot.

Do you chat to people OP or are you quite shy or feel like you're imposing just chatting to people? X

There did used to be Mumsnet Local groups but I don’t know if that’s still a thing.

I because newly single at 53 and I’ve made a brilliant network of friends through a shared love of the same type of music. I started following certain events and promotors on SM and when I saw an event advertised, I’d scroll through see who was attending and a couple of times I reached out and adore if I could tag along.
Then in lockdown we could only do sit down and outdoor stuff so I joined a local fb page and put it outbid anyone was interested in a table of 6 at certain bars and pubs. There were loads of ladies who were desperate to get out and socialise and we’ve gone from there.
I’ve been on several holidays now and weekends away with ladies I’ve only hit to know in last 5 years. In fact I’m going out in a few minutes with 2 of them.

Be brave - it’s worth it

If you get on on with the school mums why not suggest a pub or restaurant night with them? Or host at yours if you have space. Someone's got to organize it. Or a book group? Or a cross fit gym or beginners lessons for tennis or padel? A gym like David Lloyd with social events on too?

I've never tried meet ups but they could be interesting to try on your child free weekends

Thank you all for your responses xx
Never heard of ladies circle - I will check it out.

@Lwrenn I am really shy and never start conversations although if people talk to me I am actually very friendly! It just seems that a lot of people already have a good social circle and aren't looking to expand it / make new friends.

I would love to have someone start talking to me though! 😀 what a nice way to meet your friend.
I do think that covid hasn't helped people are more insular than before I think?

I will try meet ups - for some reason I thought that they were more for men?

PTA/help at school? I have recently met a bunch of new friends in 40's through running. Could you join a running club or see if any of school mums want to join you for a gym class together. Any other sports clubs eg tennis, yoga usually gets the friendly locals out!

Yes loads.
The neighbours. I was chatting to one in the street and she said she was a bit low. I said we should go out for lunch. We did. We started asking anyone else we saw in the road and now at least five of us go out every few weeks.
Running club. Lots of social runs and a few social events. Have had several running weekends away with a few of them.
Church. I started taking elderly mum, I'm not religious at all, but some of the lovely church ladies have adopted us and I could definitely make them into good friends if I had time.
Honestly if you just ask people to do stuff, the worst they can say is no.

Awww pal, being shy makes it harder doesn't it? You sound absolutely lovely and I hope you make some wonderful friends! 💕

Thank you xx

Thats super Mebe. My friend met loads through park runs and she in a drama group. Its hard op. I found I had to assert myself a bit or sit in. Met a few school mams coffee. Booked a show in dec with one. Found alot friends flaked after covid it was hard. Knocked my confidence

Yes I found that too - lots of friends who weren't in my close circle just kind of vanished into the ether... Would mostly reply but never bothered to be the one to reach out first and never seemed too fussed about meeting up or anything. It hurt 😔