Ending relationship as adults

[Iworkmiricles]

I'm 53 and the man I've been with is 61. We have been together 3.5 + years. It's been wonderful but my life has changed and I just don't love him anymore. He lived 80 miles away, so I need to go and visit him and talk to him, but I don't know when or how.

Going up in the evening, so arriving after 8, or in the morning before I go home.

I fear he's going to be heart broken, and I know he's going to go to the pub afterwards and drink heavily.
He had been very depressed and suicidal before he met me / in his marriage and I don't want him to go back to that dark place.

I know he's a grown man and not my responsibility, there are other people around him.

Do I do it in the evening or the next day?
I know it has to be done, and I don't know how he's going to take it.

Go up in the morning and tell him soon after you arrive. If you're worried about him, contact one of his friends and let them know your now ex needs some support.

Tell him straight away, it’s a bit cruel to spend time with him and then tell him afterwards, I’d much rather just be told as soon as so then you can leave and you can both process

OP, if you don't have stuff at his, call him.
Do not travel that distance.
LDR are hard, so if he is a nice man, do it gently.

Just do it over the phone, OP.
No need for all this angst.

Thanks.
I need to go as I have an few bits there (a glass that's very special to me)
I know it needs to be done sooner rather than later. He must know it's coming, we haven't seen each other for a few months, I guess I just have to see what happens.
At least I'm doing the travel, not like when I travelled to the isle of Skye and the boy at the time dumped me, and I had to travel back with him 😱🤣