Who should move out?

[HollyJenni]

Myself and my ex are currently sharing our house after I chose to end our relationship approx 3 weeks ago.
He works away 4 nights a week and I just felt like a single parent etc.
he isn’t taking it well etc and I’ve been staying at the house 4 nights a week and then going to my parents.
im trying to find a place to live at but it’s so expensive doing it all, obviously Universal credit helps but renting in my local area is so expensive.
What on earth do I do?
has anyone got any advice?
thanks

We need key details. Do the two of you own the current home? Do you have shared children ? Can either of you afford to keep the current home independently? Does that answer change if you have to buy out the other person?

I need more info as well. I think the fact you ended it is a red herring, incase he tries that angle. It sounds like you are doing the vast majority of childcare and it is the children's home. Have you put in a child maintenance claim?

Can one of you afford to take over the whole rent if the other moves out?

I’m going through similar, details very much reflect my breakup and living situation. Even though I found the relationship was controlling, once we are not in it, it’s an amicable split. We are looking at being joint owners of a studio flat nearby. So we would be joint owners of a larger current home, with a small bolthole locally. This gives space and freedom. Legally, the contracts for joint ownership are pretty watertight. It’s a joint investment situation. But with no relationship.

Ok so we rent. I’m joint tenant.
we have a daughter, haven’t put in a child maintenance claim. He can afford to keep the house solo.

OK, so if he can afford to keep the house solo and he wants to, you could let him. However, if you add together any universal credit, wages and cms payments and housing benefit, could you then afford it? I think you need to find out how much cms you are due,and if he will give you any more than the minimum. Then ask CAB about any benefits you are entitled to.Tot it all up before deciding if you can afford it.
Other option is to put your name down for social housing asap. If you declare yourself homeless, things move quicker.

Really, what a strange arrangement. Sounds like the opposite of space and freedom.

Your respective new partners will absolutely love it when you tell them you jointly own two properties with your ex!

I’m not really sure how to do this differently. I’m exploring asking him to buy me out then buying a studio flat by myself, but mortgage affordability might be a problem. I can’t afford to rent on my salary.

Surely you sell the main family home, divide the proceeds and go your separate ways?

A terrible arrangement, that he is suggesting because it means all the money gets tied up in assets, giving you no control over it. It's just him being his controlling self while pacifying you with a short leash. If you are not married however, the more assets you can get in joint ownership, the better maybe as you can claim a share on both. The trouble is, then you have 2 properties that you have to go through the process of forcing a sale of as he's unlikely to agree, which will take time and money.
A complex situation indeed, you should start your own thread on it, so not to derail this one.