I know I'm stupid blah blah but I'm feeling sad.

[FeelSadandStupid]

I've been having a thing with someone I met whilst out one night . Met him before Christmas. When drunk. Not much happened. Kiss etc.
He messaged me for a bit. Racey stuff. Brightened my day. Gave me a bit to think about.
Saw him again recently and we fooled around(briefly) again. Have messaged each other since and I like him. He was cheeky and different and made me feel good.
Last night he gave me his number and said he's now single.
But today it's all off. He needs to sort things out. Ex gf etc
I feel stupid and used and let down.
I know I deserve it but I still feel it. And yes dh would maybe feel the same as me if he knew but there you go. I'm a bitch and a silly unwanted one at that.
Ho hum.

Yes married. And I know all the answers and I've said them all to myself already. I knew them while it was happening but I couldn't seem to stop myself.
I am just so gutted. iIve actually cried. silent tears so noone would know.
I feel so rejected and unwanted and shit.

are you and your DH having probs at the mo? maybe you need to refresh your relationship a little?

this man althou it was a nice rush for you at the time would only cause further issues in your marriage, & also has shown his true colours which are obv not very nice

I know that makes me feel worse. In a way. And sometimes I just dont think like that. I just thought he would never ever know. Now I'm thick and a bitch. Great combination.

Not serious problems. we're stuck in a rut. Dont spend many evenings together. He does his thing and I do mine. We eat and watch a bit of tv then we're in diff rooms till bed. Still having sex.

agreed looking elsewhere isn't the answer here. you need to sit down and talk to your other half and tell him how you're feeling.

We didn't have sex

hmm,i do feel for you.. but also feel a bit sorry for your dh.
i know this kind of thing is heart-breaking and you had your hopes dashed, but it couldnt really have gone anywhere could it?

If this bloke had asked you to leave your dh, would you ?? (not judging, just out of interest!!)

(Hope you are ok)

I didn't even want to leave dh or get serious . maybe thats worse . it was just fun and i liked it.

my sister had this - she kept insisting it was just a bit of fun and she wasnt really getting involved..but i could tell how much she liked him.
He dumped her for a month, then they got together again, and now she cant leave him alone.

If you are thinking about him all the time, and he brightens your day and makes you excited, then you would obviously be gutted whenever it finished. You can convince yourself it was casual but then why would you be so upset?

I am so upset. he did make me feel excited and sexy tho. And i would have been upset whenever it had happened. i really liked him. he was so full on yesterday and now nothing. I feel so unwanted and used.
Thanks for being nice allgonebellyup.

My friend who knows, just rang me and I've been crying. Now I look very much like I've been crying. Dh back soon.

Take all the attention you focused on this man and use it to focus on your marriage instead - it's crying out for that investment.

Get over your embarrassment and be thankful you had a lucky escape which you were able to turn into a wake-up calle.

Was your sister married allgonebellyup?

oh I feel for you - I really do. this happened to me fairly recently - except it went way too far. he only ever thought of it as a bit of fun - but I was so addicted to the feelings of being desired, I have now made myself so miserable and ill. i do wish the old thread hadn't got deleted - there was so much good advice on there from others.

It will pass, but it's such a wonderful feeling I can see why you don't want it to.

Just dropping in - but I'll be back tomorrow to see how you are getting on.

sending you sympathy and lots of strength - there are people like you out there xx

I wish i could anorak. But it is not the same with someone you've been with for years. Yes its nicer in a differnet way but not mind blowingly sexy.

Thanks so much mummybb. It's just how i feel. What happened to you??

Of course it's not mind-blowingly sexy. If that's what you want you'll need a new partner every six months. You owe it to yourself, your husband and your children to make it your business to pay attention to fixing your marriage. You can. It's a question of whether you will or not.

I know. I didn't think it needed fixing but it prob does. Seeing as I'm so gutted about this guy.

long story - all deleted - but check out 'so guilty 7 confused about a fling' from mid-feb. that was just the start - i turned into a real bunnyboiler - felt so used an horrible - convinced myself I was in love with him - all went tits up. the thread was 800+ posts so I can't even start to tell you

a cautionary tale - don't do it. You will anyway - if you're like me - but hopefully you're more sensible. i have self esteem problems and am now seeing a therapit - but I have been drinking and popping pills for months now - I went from radiant to wreck with a wave of his hand. But even now - I still feel for him - I wouldn't wish it on anyone. please try and get some perspective on this guy and just think how good it was for your ego - and smile, and walk away with dignity intact. x

The other guy made you feel desired - for a short time anyway. If this is a big deal then your husband obviously isn't making you feel desired. You can work on that together - make each other feel special and wanted.

I have self esteem issues too. And have this need to be desired when ever I go out. Usually I just flirt with guys but this went a bit further. I had a thread on that too. i namechanged again.