Help settle a petty argument

[whoopdeenotdo]

My husband and me on a night out on holiday
He bought me a lemonade from the bar , he drinks beer .
Back story I can't drink alcohol due to issues with stomach lining / gastris , reflux which I manage through diet and I'm on medication . Alcohol gives me bad stomach cramps , even a small amount of.
I reach for a glass take a swallow and realise it's vodka and ice , but it's too late .
I'm really upset and angry because we are away from home and it will cause a flare up of cramps for days and I'll have to be careful of what I eat so I don't make it worse

He says it was not his fault because he didn't expect me to drink it . I argued that it looked like lemonade and he hadn't warned me that one drink was vodka . We are on a week away with children so anyone could have picked up lemonade .

He insists this is my fault ?
I say why would I do something that I know will make me ill ????

So he didn’t buy you a lemonade he bought himself a vodka? Did you ask for a lemonade or did you just assume the drink was yours?
I don’t think it’s necessarily either one of you being unreasonable but at the end of the day you are the one who took a drink from a glass due to an assumption and got annoyed.

So, he's saying he bought himself two drinks and didn't bother getting you one?

Is it all inclusive drinks?

Its just a mistake, have extra safe foods for a few days, pain relief and take it easy. If you have gaviscon add that in with whatever tablets you have (eg omeprazole, lanz etc) or see if you can buy it in a local pharmacy. No juice. Full fat coke has helped me when I my stomach has been so bad I throw up water.

If you are like me you probs know all this but just in case I thought might help x

Given your issues, if there is a drink that’s like your drink but has alcohol in I’d have thought he’d warn you but he may not have had time or didn’t think. People make mistakes. I presume the vodka was for him and there was lemonade in another glass? If not then it does sound like it’s either the fault of your husband or the bar staff.

In answer he did buy me a lemonade but I picked up the vodka in mistake , took a swallow and realised , when I asked him if it was gin he said no lemonade ?
Then he said it was vodka .

I have milk of magnesium with me so I've taken that .

I am upset that it could have been avoided just by him telling me one drink that looked like lemonade was vodka ? And him saying it was all my fault .

In answer he did buy me a lemonade but I picked up the vodka in mistake

So it wasn't really anyone's fault.

He brought several drinks over. You picked up the wrong one. He was initially confused by which one was which as well.

So it's unfortunate, but arguing over it and assigning blame is just making things worse.

This was just a mistake 🤷‍♀️ Unfortunate, yes, but still a mistake! He wasn't trying to trick you.

It was a simple mistake, no ones fault just one of those things imo, though I can understand why it's upsetting for you that it's happened. It really isn't worth the row and impact on your holiday to argue with your DH about it, just use additional caution going forward

It was a mistake!

Absolutely it was a mistake , not done on purpose . But his reaction was it was my stupid fault . No concern of how it would affect me .
We aren't arguing . But now he's not happy that I don't want to come for breakfast !!!!!!!

It was a mistake - your mistake.

If there were two glasses that look the same, why on earth not check which one was yours. Just to pick a random one up and swig out of it, without checking when you know you have intolerances seems really foolish.

Can't see how your husband is to blame at all.

Ok, he's a shit for being unpleasant and not being sympathetic.

Stop dragging it out into not going down to breakfast and so on, though.

You're both going to ruin this holiday.

If he's normally unsupportive about your health issues, then maybe that's something to think on when you get home

In the meantime, make the best of it and try to have some fun.

If your reaction is that extreme then I would expect him to be as aware as he should be to an allergy. And he doesn't seem to have been very sympathetic, I agree. But why aren't you going down for breakfast?

Did he really say ... it was my stupid fault or was he just defensive because you were blaming him, and this is your interpretation?

It was a simple accident, no-one's at fault.
But if you're continuing to blame him, and/or he really did call you stupid, then you've bigger problems.

And does one sip really cause such big issues?

How does one sip make you ill for days?

Surely a vodka and ice is a very different volume in a glass compared to lemonade, probably even a different size/shape of glass. It should be obvious that they are not the same to anyone. I also know if I took a sip of vodka expecting lemonade, I would know it was vodka when it touched my lips, well before swallowing it, probably even before sipping it, because the fumes off the glass hit the nostrils.

Unless you are having vodka for breakfast, this must have happened a number of hours ago, so unless you are rolling around in agony, join him for breakfast, even if you don't fancy much to eat. Hiding in your room makes you look like you are sulking.

I assume that the two drinks looked the same. You, who has chronic stomach problems, did not ask which was which but just drank one.Honestly , how you possibly blame your DH. You need to apologise and rake responsibility for your health.