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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Cheating husband

8 replies

jennifermal · 25/10/2024 01:40

Recently I found out my husband cheated on me and I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant. He started a new job and became close with a coworker and they exchanged numbers. He's trying to minimize it by saying it only lasted 2 days. And when we hashed out our issues he ended it. He also said that if we did not talk and deal with our issues he would have continued to talk to this woman. The past couple weeks have been rocky. And he chose then to confide into another woman.

This is the same woman he's told me about and I told him I was not comfortable with him giving her his personal information and he did it anyway. He never would have said a word to me if I didn't find it in his phone. I have held this man down when he lost a job, quit a job, had no money and at his absolute lowest. And he chose to do this to me at my lowest.

I'm so hurt idk what to do with myself. I can't sleep I can't eat. This is the same man that told me he'll never leave or hurt me and he did. I have not spoken to him since I found the messages and I don't plan on it. He's trying to fix what he did but I can't forgive him for this.

I have no one to speak to about this. I feel so alone and numb. I can't focus I called out of work. Idk when I'll be ok again.

OP posts:
jennifermal · 25/10/2024 01:43

Sunday we celebrated our anniversary and I feel like such an idiot. Smiling in his face and expressing my love to him when he cheated.

OP posts:
Icanflyhigh · 25/10/2024 01:43

Only you can decide what happens from here. If you know you can't forgive (and I don't blame you for that) you need to take steps to get your ducks in a row and find a way forward without him.
You are strong enough to do that - even if you don't feel it right now.
You will get some good advice here, but maybe ask for your post to be moved to relationships board as there is more traffic there x
Take good care of yourself and your baby x

Attelina · 25/10/2024 01:45

Sorry you are going through this.

When your relationship had problems he chose to have his ego massaged by another woman.

When the baby comes you are going to be devoted to giving your baby your full attention. Where do you think he will go to get attention?

It really doesn't look good for the future and sadly it is not going to be a choice of splitting up or not but when.

Do you finish it now or later on? A weak willed man who runs to another woman when things are difficult at home is not likely to change.

jennifermal · 25/10/2024 01:47

Icanflyhigh · 25/10/2024 01:43

Only you can decide what happens from here. If you know you can't forgive (and I don't blame you for that) you need to take steps to get your ducks in a row and find a way forward without him.
You are strong enough to do that - even if you don't feel it right now.
You will get some good advice here, but maybe ask for your post to be moved to relationships board as there is more traffic there x
Take good care of yourself and your baby x

Thank you🌸

OP posts:
jennifermal · 25/10/2024 01:49

Attelina · 25/10/2024 01:45

Sorry you are going through this.

When your relationship had problems he chose to have his ego massaged by another woman.

When the baby comes you are going to be devoted to giving your baby your full attention. Where do you think he will go to get attention?

It really doesn't look good for the future and sadly it is not going to be a choice of splitting up or not but when.

Do you finish it now or later on? A weak willed man who runs to another woman when things are difficult at home is not likely to change.

The moment I found the messages I asked him the same thing. He said he would not do it again. And I do not believe him. He left and is living with family. I can't live with him again I've lost all respect and trust.

OP posts:
Copperoliverbear · 25/10/2024 05:18

I believe he would do it again as soon as you go into a rocky patch or have an argument he will look for comfort with someone else.
You and your child are better off alone.

DawnMumsnet · 25/10/2024 12:51

The OP posted this thread twice, in error. We've closed the shorter version and have moved this one to our Relationships topic.

Clarkysingleprimgoe · 12/01/2025 03:01

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