Do guys care that you have a child?

[Kelly1999x]

I have 2 year old and am single, do guys care? Do they see this as a reason not to be with someone? Worried I will never find anyone.

You must be pretty young if you have a 2 year old. It seems unlikely to me that you will never meet anyone else again.

Jack the lad who likes getting pissed and shagging birds would definitely care, but you don't want to be with Jack do you?!

My advice as an older woman who's very happy married now but for years never thought she'd find a man... focus on your little one, and also on being the best person you can be, and remain sociable so you meet new people. Good men notice good women I promise you, even if it takes a few years.

And if he's got his own kids he'll definitely notice you're a good mum, and that'll also count for a lot.

Good luck!

I'd focus on raising my child. Time for romance and sex later.

Priorities, OP, priorities...

Not one man has ever minded that I have a daughter.

I agree. Go sarcastic like me on romances and men and then I met the forever husband at the age of 32...( I am almost 50 now), once married and will be once married even when (if) get widowed

Not necessarily. I’m in my 40’s and have a 1 year old.

Sorry to see you got a load of pricks commenting! Honestly.

Some care, some don't. The ones who care aren't worth it. I met my soon to be husband with one DD & he has two DS's. We have a very happy life together. There are decent people out there.

I personally would say minimise who you introduce to your child, they don't need to meet every guy. I also never left anyone with my kid until I was in a long term serious relationship

Yes, that’s very young to remain single for the rest of your life.

My husband didn’t care that I was a mum to a young child when we met. I’m sure there will be men who would care but if they did, they’re not for you. Some young men wouldn’t like it as it limits you socially. Some older men wouldn’t like it because they’ve maybe already raised their children and don’t want to do it again. The right man for you will not only love you but love your child and feel blessed to have you both. I agree with pp that you shouldn’t introduce new partners to children until you know that they’re going to be a long term fixture. Kids don’t need loads of people coming in and out of their lives. Focus on your child and enjoy dating when you can get a babysitter now and then.

I'm always more worried by the ones that see it as part of the attraction, that's who you need to worry about.

Of course they would care. Same way a man would care or same sex partners. It would be pretty shit if they didn't.

I’ve started dating an amazing woman with a 7 year old.

The fact that she has a child has not and will not put me off, but it is taking some adjustment having never been in a relationship with anyone with a child. Planning dates is more difficult, I don’t see her as often as I would like and not being her priority although completely understandable can be difficult .

A woman with a child will not put me off, but if they had multiple children with multiple dads then I’d probably swerve .

The question you should be asking (yourself) is "how much can I realistically offer in a relationship while my priority lies with my young child?" Most decent men will see that too, and yes, many will be put off getting into a serious relationship with a parent of a toddler. You should probably be wary of any that aren't put off at all/don't appear to be considering your child's needs.

It gets a bit easier as kids get older and you start to get a bit more free time back. So don't sweat it, just focus on your child for now and enjoy your 1 to 1 relationship with them.

Hi , I met my partner of 20
years , when I had a 4 year old. He had no children himself . He said it totally didn’t put him off . To be fair he had done a lot of partying and living abroad when he was younger, so that stage of his life was done .

Of course men date single mums. (Some see them as handy as ready-made living situations.)

I think it's important to value yourself and your little family unit.

If you're considering dating, get out of the mindset of "what guy would want me I've got a kid" because it'll lead you into tolerating some absolute pricks.

What can the right guy bring into your life, and will he make it better, and will he be good enough to hang around with your kid?

”What can the right guy bring into your life, and will he make it better, and will he be good enough to hang around with your kid?”
THIS! Absolutely this!

Some care, some don't.

I'm a lone parent (both dads are flaky) and would be lying if I said I have met men who were put off, especially when then were a lot younger. Now they are older and can be left I feel like my life is getting back on track. My boyfirend is also a lone parent which makes life a lot easier as we both just get it.

On reflection I'm so pleased that I had time when they were young to focus on them, and now I can focus a bit more on me.

Men who wouldn't date a single mum are not all callow, shallow gits. There are plenty of decent, lovely men who would not date a single mum. This is because they've thought ahead and realised that breaking up with the woman (and most relationships do end) would result in a massive upset for the child, and they'd rather not go there.

That's not true. Some guys care for a very good reason. It's a massive responsibility that everyone wants and it's better they are honest from the outset - it doesn't make them bad people.

Not just this but I get why if you're young and free and single you wouldn't want to date someone similar who was fancy free too so you could take off on a whim. It doesn't make you a bad person to not want to. ( not to mention the step drama which is rarely easy)

Some will some won't it will definitely put some men off

My DS met a girl with 3 DS when he was in early 20's. So it is possible. It just means hopefully, meeting someone your able to trust.