Unmarried, split up and house problems

[Bamboozled123]

Me and my partner of 15 years have split up last week. I found out he had been sexting and speaking to another woman. I have also been told he slept with this woman 3 years ago at our old house, he denies this. I have told him it’s over. The relationship was dead anyway. We haven’t been intimate for 8 years. We were basically staying together for the children. We have three, aged 10 and twin 7 year olds. The part where I have been particularly stupid is that the house is in both our names but I have put all the money into it. I had my own place when we met, I then sold this and bought another - my dad gave me some money towards the deposit on this. The house we now live in was funded mostly from my inheritance when my dad passed and equity from the second house. My ex has put nothing in. Currently I pay all the bills and he pays for shopping and gives me a sum to put towards bills. It doesn’t cover half the mortgage. It’s been this way as he’s in a poorly paid job.
Anyway presently we are still living together in the home. He could move to his parents but they are elderly and there isn’t a huge amount of space for the kids. Plus he does the school drop off and pick ups as I work full time and he works from home. It’s easier for him to stay here. He has said that he doesn’t want anything from the house as he’s not put anything in. I believe him to a point but I am worried that if he takes legal advice or a well meaning friend gives him a good talking to, he might decide he wants the house to be sold and wants half the proceeds.
Has anyone any advice or experience of this situation. Should I try to get him off the mortgage whilst he’s agreeable - how much would this cost? I’m not sure I would be able to get the mortgage on my own then it’s selling the house and all that upheaval!
Please, I know I have been stupid with the house purchases don’t need telling. Already in a shit situation!
Thanks

You can’t just take him off the mortgage, you have to legally buy him out and then get a mortgage in your own name for the property.

If you can’t get a mortgage for the property in your sole name then you can’t keep the house.

You say partner so presume you're not married? Is he on the deeds, if so as joint tenants or tenants in common?

So he is the primary parent and works around the kids schedule thus facilitating your job?

You’re probably lucky you aren’t married or he might have taken more than 50% of the equity in a divorce.

By the sounds of things you’ll both have to downsize or move to a more affordable area. He may have to rent if he can’t get a mortgage on his low income.

This - if it’s joint tenants then he owns half. End of.

If they were married there may have been arguments to make as to ownership of the property even if the house is in joint names.

property law is far less flexible. OP should have got the house in her sole name if she bought it and got a cohabitation agreement drawn up.

Yes, we aren’t married

Yes but joint tenants or tenants in common?

I had this issue. We did a deed of variation when we sold so I got my money back and a very small profit. He got a small sum too. Only way he would agree. Can you do something like that?

Please take proper legal advice. There are ways of addressing this if he is agreeable.but you need a solicitor not random Mumsnet opinions.

Tbh if genders were reversed and dp has been doing school drop offs and pick ups enabling you to work full time MN would be arguing that your partner is absolutely entitled to a share of the house even without putting any money in and a share of your pension too.

I personally think you should reflect on how your partner's actions have enabled your career and your pension pot and suggest house is divided up fairly.

But fair isn't the same as legal. Get proper advice. If he's willing to give it up without a fight buy him out immediately.

joint tenants

Thanks, obviously I will need a solicitor eventually. I was just looking for advice and opinions.

He owns 50% of the equity then. There isn’t really much getting around this.

I’m a family lawyer but my colleague does a lot of TOLATA work and helps my non-married clients!

I would seek advice. Good luck OP.

We aren’t married though so why would he be entitled to any of my pension. He works full time also, just so happens he works from home which helps with the kids.

Ignore, he has no rights to your pension unless married

Not sure about where you stand having out more money in. But me and my ex split with two young kids. Both on deeds and mortgage. We did a declaration of trust. He cane off deeds but stayed on mortgage and I have until youngest is 18 to buy him out. The major downside is if the house increases in price he benefits from that but not from any mortgage payments I've made.

Anything else such as pensions were not discussed as we weren't married. Thank goodness. I also went to CMS to get what the kids were entitled to. Single perosns council tax discount. Applied for UC and got it surprisingly as my wage isn't bad. Opened up a help to save account due to being on UC. Save £50 a month for 4 years and government give you half again on top. Can't think of anything else.

He has no pension rights but 50% of the house is his, legally.

You would need to buy him out and then get a mortgage on your own.

My advice OP is act fast whilst he’s saying he wants nothing.

I used to do loads of ‘Transfer of Equity and Re-mortgages’ when I was a trainee, but that was some time ago.

It is straightforward to sever a joint tenancy to tenants-in-common in equal shares. I think either one of you could technically do that right now. Simple form to the Land Registry and a fee.

I am wondering though if you can sever to tenants in common in unequal shares? Find a Conveyancing Solicitor and find out asap!