Hey!
I am female, 28, single. I work full time, study and keep myself busy with friends, trips etc.
Please can someone help me understand why as of recently, I have been thinking about and essentially, missing my ex partner. To the point it is weighing on me rather heavy and I feel pretty sad about it.
For context, we were together 7 years, 3 YEARS AGO. Do I sound crazy? For further context, the relationship wasn’t great. It could get pretty bad to the point he could be verbally, mentally and at times physically abusive. But then there was the “good” and it was very good. I ended it with him pretty abruptly, because quite frankly I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt broken and didn’t love myself anymore so I needed to leave. When I say I left, I cut complete contact with him and disappeared. I heard through the great vine that he would ask for me, but I was done.
I think I heard a year into our break up that he was in a relationship with someone new and they were expecting a child together. (We had experienced a miscarriage) But even still, at the time of finding out, it didn’t bother me and if anything I felt sorry for whoever was now in a relationship with him.
I have not dated since we broke up, not seriously. Of course I have been on dates but none that really “did it” for me. So I decided to just continue working on fixing myself, remain alone and see where life takes me. I have never been someone that is afraid of being alone, I do things alone regularly until recently where I am finding the alone time, rather lonely!
Is my mind taking me back to the time where, as sad as it is, I last felt love? Or wasn’t “lonely”? Am I possibly experiencing a delayed mourning stage?
To clarify, I would never and have no intention of reaching out to said ex. I just don’t understand why I am feeling this way and what my best foot forward would be in this situation.
Thank you for your time