How would you feel if your new partner had a number of women they matched with on dating apps on their social media?

[Ultrared4]

New partner has quite a few women from tinder on their instagram. They said they never met up or dated but exchanged socials over tinder and have just kept them over the years.
I dont know if I’m overreacting but feeling a bit bothered by this?

He’s browsing not buying - have fun but don’t fall in love and be careful with your sexual health

Right now you are just starting dating, if it gets serious he should consider removing as what other purposes does contact with them serve? Unless they developed real friendships.

I’d say he’s not your partner he’s someone you’re dating who is pretty casual in his approach.

I wouldn’t expect much from this one if you’re looking for long term

We’re both women

Anyone else? Not sure if I should bring it up or not. She has never dated these women or even met them

i honestly came understand why Mumsnet always focus on how people describe their partner/boyfriend/girlfriend

I think some people will add anyone just to get their friends up and I have heard of people online dating being added to someone’s Instagram to keep chatting, increase followers or just to validate they exist and to be followed with a date. Dp’s male friends were frustrated because lots of attractive women seemed to want to befriend them on instagram and never meet in real life and it seemed like they were doing it for their own ego or to become an influencer.

So it could be your partner has added them and they don’t mean anything. Or it could be they see them as a backup in case things don’t work with you. I can imagine not wanting to ‘lose’ someone on tinder and putting them in another social media.

i would talk to your partner and understand their Instagram usage - have they connected to thousands of irrelevant people? If so I’d probably let this go. In an ideal world they’d offer to remove these irrelevant people but some people are weird with social media.

This is why I don't want to date someone off OLD, everyone's on a conveyor belt of meaningless false connections. Not for me!

Does she add every prospective date and not delete them or are these ones she intends to stay friends with? I have about 4 good friends met OLD (in person)

I think overall you will need to weigh up and decide whether you're comfortable.

I think they have spoke for a few days on tinder and one or other have asked for their socials (which is normal because I’ve been asked many times for mine but I don’t tend to give it out unless I’ve met them) and then the talking has fizzled out and they’re just on instagram still. I don’t feel overly annoyed about it but I do feel a bit strange but I do trust her