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Original poster

What would you feel about this

45 replies

Mango27 · 23/10/2024 21:42

I have been seeing a fantastic guy for 11 months. Ticks all the boxes, we spend a lot of time together, still treat the weekends like they are a date and do lovely things.
But now we have a problem. It sounds pathetic but I have really been taken aback.
He has a newish facebook account with not many people as he no longer has access to the old 1. On the new 1 we have been publicly in a relationship since April. He has shared some of your lovely trips on this account and we have been ppublicly in a relationship. Today I noticed that the relationship status was set to friends only on his page. I questioned the sudden change and he told me he had wanted to update his privacy settings for old posts and hadn't changed the relationship status himself.
I been thinking why would he all of a sudden want to change this, and am I being unreasonable to question it?

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 23/10/2024 21:43

Does it really matter?

Original poster
Mango27 · 23/10/2024 21:44

Idontjetwashthefucker · 23/10/2024 21:43

Does it really matter?

Yes. Why wouldn't it matter?

OP posts:
AlertCat · 23/10/2024 21:44

Relationship or privacy? I’m not entirely sure what you’re saying here.

BESTAUNTB · 23/10/2024 21:44

Is anything else making you uneasy?

Idontjetwashthefucker · 23/10/2024 21:45

Mango27 · 23/10/2024 21:44

Yes. Why wouldn't it matter?

Show quote history

OK. Why does it matter if it's not public, why do people he's not friends with need to know he's in a relationship?

TwistedWonder · 23/10/2024 21:45

You can’t ’just notice’ his privacy settings without logging into his account yourself so you’re checking up on him for some reason

yarnbarn · 23/10/2024 21:49

Today I noticed that the relationship status was set to friends only on his page.

How did you notice this?

What is the problem with it?

Original poster
Mango27 · 23/10/2024 21:50

TwistedWonder · 23/10/2024 21:45

You can’t ’just notice’ his privacy settings without logging into his account yourself so you’re checking up on him for some reason

No I didn't do that. I clicked on his page after he tagged me on something an could see our relationship status wasn't displayed anymore

OP posts:
Ottobeak · 23/10/2024 21:52

I don't have my relationship status on at all. It's really none of anyone else's business.

However, I do get very regular froend requests from men who have only a handful of friends - I've always assumed they're fake accounts.

Does his profile picture include a dog - they almost always do 😆

Idontjetwashthefucker · 23/10/2024 21:53

So if his relationship status is set to friends only, why can't you see it?

Ottobeak · 23/10/2024 21:53

Mango27 · 23/10/2024 21:50

No I didn't do that. I clicked on his page after he tagged me on something an could see our relationship status wasn't displayed anymore

Show quote history

Surely if he's set it to friends only and you're his friend, you'd see it?

Original poster
Mango27 · 23/10/2024 21:57

yarnbarn · 23/10/2024 21:49

Today I noticed that the relationship status was set to friends only on his page.

How did you notice this?

What is the problem with it?

Because he had tagged me in something. But then his reasoning for the change was because he wanted to restric past posts.
Why after all these months would he want to hide our relationship from the public and also hide what is mainly our days out from future friends?I know you don't know the answer but I've asked him ans got no reasonable answer

OP posts:
Original poster
Mango27 · 23/10/2024 22:01

Ottobeak · 23/10/2024 21:53

Surely if he's set it to friends only and you're his friend, you'd see it?

Show quote history

Yes I do. But on Facebook you can see when you click the profile any details they share publicly. This use to display us in a relationship, but now it dont. It says click to know more about.
Why would he change that when it has has our status up for months?

OP posts:
BabyCloud · 23/10/2024 22:04

I find anything Facebook related pathetic to be honest. This is something a teenager would worry about.

Onlyvisiting · 23/10/2024 22:05

Mango27 · 23/10/2024 21:42

I have been seeing a fantastic guy for 11 months. Ticks all the boxes, we spend a lot of time together, still treat the weekends like they are a date and do lovely things.
But now we have a problem. It sounds pathetic but I have really been taken aback.
He has a newish facebook account with not many people as he no longer has access to the old 1. On the new 1 we have been publicly in a relationship since April. He has shared some of your lovely trips on this account and we have been ppublicly in a relationship. Today I noticed that the relationship status was set to friends only on his page. I questioned the sudden change and he told me he had wanted to update his privacy settings for old posts and hadn't changed the relationship status himself.
I been thinking why would he all of a sudden want to change this, and am I being unreasonable to question it?

Being 'in a relationship' or not on FB doesn't seem very important, but weird that's he's changed it.
The 2nd account would cause me questions though. If you only see him on weekends, how certain are you he isn't married or something? Have you been to his house?

Original poster
Mango27 · 23/10/2024 22:06

Idontjetwashthefucker · 23/10/2024 21:53

So if his relationship status is set to friends only, why can't you see it?

Cos I'm his friend on there, but can cearly see it had disappeared from his main page

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 23/10/2024 22:09

Mango27 · 23/10/2024 22:06

Cos I'm his friend on there, but can cearly see it had disappeared from his main page

Show quote history

If you’re his fb friend and can’t see it then it must be set to private and not friends only.
Or he’s deleted it altogether

Original poster
Mango27 · 23/10/2024 22:10

Onlyvisiting · 23/10/2024 22:05

Being 'in a relationship' or not on FB doesn't seem very important, but weird that's he's changed it.
The 2nd account would cause me questions though. If you only see him on weekends, how certain are you he isn't married or something? Have you been to his house?

Show quote history

He is definitely single. His ex and kids have moved far away. I have been to his house milipleof times but it is mainly my house we stay at due to my responsibilities.

OP posts:
CrispyCrumpets · 23/10/2024 22:11

The fact that he "lost access" to one account and now has another account and he is restricting access to his relationship status could seem a bit iffy. Have you been to his house and met his friends and family?

ManhattanPopcorn · 23/10/2024 22:14

You're over thinking it.

I'm curious though, how come he no longer has access to his original account?

HappiestSleeping · 23/10/2024 22:18

I am not even friends with my wife on Facebook. Neither of us view it as of any importance whatsoever. Then again, we pretty much only use Facebook to sell stuff on marketplace, or to watch funny cat/ dog videos.

sandyhappypeople · 23/10/2024 22:19

It sounds like he's changed the audience selector of his whole profile to friends only, which would mean everything that was public (like his relationship status) is now private for friends only. He's explained it by saying he doesn't want just anyone to access his previous posts or see his content.

There could be something sinister in it, in that he doesn't want people (or a certain someone?) finding out information on him or posting things that you may then see, or it could be that he hasn't changed that one item specifically, he's just changed the settings on his whole profile for a genuine reason instead?

Original poster
Mango27 · 23/10/2024 22:20

CrispyCrumpets · 23/10/2024 22:11

The fact that he "lost access" to one account and now has another account and he is restricting access to his relationship status could seem a bit iffy. Have you been to his house and met his friends and family?

Yes, I have recently met his family. Apart from his children. They all live a long drive away (4 hours). Felt this to be a positive sign. But cannot make sense of why he would all of a sudden change our status to friends only, when he has minimal friends on that account. He made the excuse of restricting privacy of past posts. Why you want to do that when most are of us. I dont know how to do that on Facebook so no idea if it is all friends can't see or just new friends

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 23/10/2024 22:20

Why not ask him to change it back ? It is clearly important to you so unless he’s a ( recently appointed ) spook, he should be happy to do it.

Noseybookworm · 23/10/2024 22:22

I don't see what the problem is? He has changed his privacy settings so that only friends can see his personal information - what's wrong with that? Why can't he access his old account?