I started dating a guy who I met though an app about 7 months ago. After a string of bad experiences I thought I had finally met someone great. We are both mid 40's, he's a year younger than me and things had been going so well. Lots of lovely weekends together, he met my family and friends and we even went down south together in August so I could meet his family which went well.
I had a trip booked to Australia to see family for a year now and it was for 4 weeks. Honestly I regretted booking to go for so long after I had met him and did look to see if I could change my dates but I'd have been letting family down to do that and my boyfriend reassured me that it would be fine, we would message and call and he'd use that time to get some stuff done in his flat that he'd been too distracted to tackle, that he'd be here waiting for me.
So I went and it was nice although I missed him a lot we did message and call and I was so looking forward to seeing him when I got home last Friday. I got in early and messaged him, he said he would come over and see me that night and to get some sleep so I did then got back up and messaged him to see what time I should order the food for. He then messaged back to say he was caught up at work and would just be going home after as he was so tired and that he'd see me the next day. I was really upset by this but took him at his word.
He did then appear at my place on Saturday evening much later than I had expected as we'd usually meet at about lunch time but he didn't show until almost 7pm. I ordered a takeaway which we ate, we watched tv he drank a few beers then we went to bed and had sex. It wasn't quite the homecoming I'd been expecting to be honest. The next morning rather than spend the day he just got up and went saying he needed to finish off stuff at his flat. He wouldn't even stay for breakfast.
I texted him later to see if he wanted me to come over and help but he said no and that he'd be going to bed early. The yesterday he didn't text at all, even in response messages I sent him. Then today he's sent me one saying that he thinks things have been moving too fast with us, that we should leave off seeing each other for a bit and see how things go and perhaps reconnect in a month or two to see how we feel!
It seems obvious to me that he was straight back on the apps as soon as I was gone and has found a better prospect he is wanting to try out while still keeping me on the backburner in case it doesn't work out but seriously????
What do I have to do? Be all singing and all dancing all of the time to keep a mans interest? Did none of the time we spend together mean anything to him? How long did he even wait till he was back on the apps? Was he planning this all along and that is why he was so supportive of my trip? I really thought we were falling in love and had a future, I don't feel like I can trust myself anymore, how can he do such a one 180?
I am just so done with this shit.