Would you date someone who didn't want more children?

[davidtennantsmistress]

as in you did but he didn't - not now not ever, as in even if we were together 20 years type of a thing, or would you live in hope he might change his mind if everything else was really good?

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Would you really, zippi?!

My bf is 37 & doesn't have children, and I am aware that there is a chance he may want a child one day. He doesn't seem that bothered atm though, and once he has spent more time with mine, he will probably take himself off for a vasectomy!!

well i might

i started the process last year after exdp left me but as he said he wouldnt come back necessaruily if i did have a baby I was assisted to decide it was not a good idea

but if someone did want to be with me and they wanted to start a family because they had no children i would consider it again

i'm biased as i was married to someone who didn't want children for 4 years. was misery as i really wanted kids, but diff as I didn't have any. thing is, once we moved in together i was a walking cliche of nesting, i felt so broody i nearly went crazy.

reading your story, it doesn't sound hopeless - you might easily find you were in the same area eventually.

i'd be more worried about being with someone who didn't take much interest in children under 7 - not that it's unusual or even means he's a bad dad - but 7 years is a long time to be doing the heavy lifting alone!

why not carry on - life happens how it happens - but i can only tell you that i thought about having kids every day of my marriage and cried a few rivers along the way. (I also ended up hurting my xh a LOT). only you know how important it is to you.

Wow, zippi, that is a really big thing to do for someone!

I was very much done after having DS2, but wouldn't rule out having another now, if there came a point where DP really wanted a child. The thought of doing it all over again is a pretty scary one, but I know I would still consider it.

If he doesn't want children of his own, that is more than fine with me though!

of course the hypothetical person with no children who wanted to be with me would also have to be ok with griatric mother to his child who went abroad to get pregnant and would have to be planning to live with me

exdp was ok with this idea but as the subject only came up after he had already abruptly and secretively left without warning and he wouldnt commit himself to actually living with me again i didnt risk it...thankfully

Well I have two friends who started relationships on this basis

One went sour after 10 years due to their conflicting wants

One husband changed his mind and they now have two children and look to be very happy

So I think people can change their minds - and need more time to get used the idea - but it's a heck of a gamble

what if he means what he says?

exactly quattro.

I'm not sure how much is he's not interested in children under 7 and how much of it is to do with his sons condition as he finds it very hard & frustrating. but at 7 now his lad is doing more.

have been together a few months, but as I say he's getting into the you know i'm really keen but don't want to appear it etc etc. keeps saying how special I am, & making plans as far ahead as xmas.