Is marriage 50:50/ Service

[Lollyp2]

How much service do you give your partner?
Is it always 50:50?

I am concerned that I give 90% while my H gives 10%.
I come 3rd or 4th in his plans.e.g

1. my H will call his mum daily but when I am away from home (esp work) he will text me once a day.

2. I don't drive in Brussels yet.I use public transport to get to work.
   He would rather hang out with his friends while surfing than come pick me up on a rainy day where I will take 2 hours to get home.
   I bought a car to practise for my test.His car was getting fixed one time and he had to drive mine.Believe it or not he was driving my car but still wouldn't come to pick me from work.

3. My H will drive an hour away for entertainment e.g surf or climbing but will not give me lift or pick me from work.

I discussed this with him and said I was okay with having to take buses but before he accepted the issue he said to me "I will not beg you to come pick you up"

Am I overthinking the whole thing?

Take an uber

Being someone's taxi all the time is tedious. Driving to an acitvity you enjoy is very different.

Service?

I sense a drip feed. Is this yet another way you are disappointed in him? If you don't have children, keep it that way because your interactions will disappoint you even more once you have other people to think about. He will never change so you need to consider what you can change. You're already doing that with taking your driving test but that won't fix the underlying issues that have you feeling resentment towards him.

@SereneFish I understand being someone's taxi is tedious.
Is it the same to say being someone's chef and laundry/ cleaning person is also tedious?

@cestlavielife I can take an uber.
I bet he can buy food and hire a cleaner too?

@PickAChew I understand.
Thank you all

.. Calling a mother daily vs not making a huge deal if a spouse you live with travels occasionally. Not sure how you can compare those.

…Commuting to work - is certainly on you. If public transport was an issue - why did you get the job before getting a license? Asking for someone to drive hours in addition to their job so that your commute is easier is unreasonable.

…. However - if you are currently taking hours commuting - then it needs to factor in to domestic chores split. Surely he has more tine and then needs to do more on the washing/cooking. Or you outsource.

bet he can buy food and hire a cleaner too?

Of course
If you both working hire a cleaner /if you can find the money pay a cleaner
Do online shop for food

@jsku
He lives 6 minutes away from his mum and dad who we see every week.

I am the one who travels for work for about 4 days.
My concern is that he will speak to his mum daily but to his wife (me) only once a day if I am gone for 4 days

The drive is not for hours.
It's 30 minutes.

I don't service my husband at all because he's not a Ford Fiesta.

If I was looking at my marriage from the perspective of who provides more services for the other, I'd assume my marriage was over.

Why do you do the laundry and cleaning? Does he do his share of the housework?

How many more threads are you going to start op?

You've had several posts over several months, with posters telling you this...
Your husband does not value you.
He puts other women before you. You're not happy. You need to start thinking of yourself instead of tying yourself in knots over the shit he keeps putting you through.

I understand being someone's taxi is tedious.
Is it the same to say being someone's chef and laundry/ cleaning person is also tedious?

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