Is she cheating?

[Bucke316]

LONG POST

Hello everybody.

I am a Man looking for some advice.

Been with my partner nearly 8 years now.
Things have been very up and down in our relationship, and she has been unfaithful in the past.

Our sex life was always great in the past, but the last year or so- has been non existent.

In her defence, she has had many health issues including chronic back pain(which she had to have surgery for), but something doesn’t seem right.

For well over a year now, she keeps having these problems, in and around her private area.

First the doctors diagnosed her with a “Perianal abscess” which has been drained on countless times, and now she keeps getting these “Bartholin's cysts”.
Just always seems to have an issue in the area.

She has had swabs taken, which has always came back negative- but I’m not sure if she has been tested for an STI.
With her past history of being unfaithful, I really can’t help but think, she is up to something again.

With that said, her mobility is not great- so I struggle to see how she could be doing anything.

The sex has totally dried up, and she only seems to want to be intimate- when she is fertile.

What do you guys think?

Be totally and brutally honest.

I don’t think she’s cheating. Sounds like she’s having a hard time health wise though.

I kind of think those who stay with cheaters have made their bed, so to speak. Why would it be different this time?

Given her issues, I'm not surprised she's gone off sex. It's doubtful she's in a position to seek it elsewhere. Despite past events, what she needs now is compassion. However, your relationship needs better communication. Are you saying she has never to your knowledge had an STI test, or not since the affair?
Nothing stopping you from getting one whenever you want for reassurance, however, it's most likely your sensitive due to past events.

She has a perianal abscess dude... that's tough. Give her a break.

I don’t think she’s cheating … the abcesses you describe sound very painful for her. I’m not sure what to suggest but trust is understandably an issue. You say she only wants to sleep with you when she’s fertile .., are you trying for a baby or does she just want sex before her period due to hormones.

I do think you should talk to her about your trust issues though. It should be an open conversation where she can proactively start winning back your trust. Tbh I’ve been cheated on before and after that point it’s never the same and you are always looking over your shoulder.

To me, there are obvious and understandable trust issues in regard to her past behaviour. But I would say that this time, she's not cheating, nor is she in any fit state to. Right now, she no doubt needs your support.

She's not cheating, she is no in a fit state with an abscess.

Wonder if she might have hidradenitis suppurativa