On not understanding partner's behaviour

[MyRoseFawn]

I have recently split up with my partner and have been trying to understand his behaviour towards me during our relationship. We were together 3 years. For example, there was one incident where I went out for a run and there was a dog off the lead near our house. Because I am frightened of dogs I ran back home and told my partner that the dog had tried to atttack me. He looked at the owner of the dog who was blonde and pretty and told me that she was in the right and that I had nothing to worry about. I then went on my run but when I returned I found my partner drawing - I looked at what he was drawing and it was the woman. Another time and a similar senario where we were in a pub having food and a woman was at the bar with her two dogs. The dogs were off the lead and were lying in the gangway so that anyone who needed to go to the bar or the other end of the pub would have to step over the dogs (a mastiff and rottweiler). I told my partner that I was uncomfortable because I have a fear of dogs, however, when I went to the bathrroom and returned I found him chatting with the woman and he told me she had a right to bring her dogs into the pub and he wouldn't be going out with me again and I made too much of a fuss.

It doesn’t sound like he respected you.

You're better off without him.

I do get that you have a need for closure of some kind, but really OP he just sounds like a nob and you're better off without him.

He sounds like an absolute tool, deliberately targeting female dog owners, knowing you have a fear of dogs. You are well rid of him.

The first dog didn't attack you and you could have asked the owner to remove the second two.

That said, he should probably have taken your side and not fawned over or sketched the females with their canines.

Sounds like you should avoid places where there might be dogs and that he found your behaviour annoying and dramatic, and essentially wasn’t supportive. Most people are dog lovers and dogs are everywhere so it would take someone understanding to deal with your fear on a daily basis. It was wrong for you to say the dog attacked you when it didn’t. It also seems silly to go to a pub where dogs are allowed, when most pubs don’t allow dogs. I’d review your choices with these things and not expect dogs to move for you, but you move out of the way of the dogs when possible, if that makes sense. As for drawing the woman, is he into art, does he draw regularly? If so it wouldn’t bother me at all. If not, it might be a little odd but maybe he fancied drawing something. I don’t know. The post is a little dramatic and if they are literally the only issues your relationship had, then you did ok in my opinion

Agree. Forget about this weirdo. I bet he doesn't even draw well.

At the very least he wanted you to have low self esteem. I'm glad you are separated now and hope you are safe

there was a dog off the lead near our house. Because I am frightened of dogs I ran back home and told my partner that the dog had tried to atttack me.

Did the dog try to attack you?

To add to my comment, he wasn’t necessarily being a dick talking to these women, he probably felt they had been made embarrassed and uncomfortable simply for having a dog, and was trying to smooth things down, especially if you were saying someone’s dog attacked you when it didn’t, he probably felt embarrassed also.

Honestly, he's not a minder or apologist. He doesn't have to go around appeasing women who are not his partner, because he can't support a partner who has a phobia. What next, locking her in the attic?

Would anyone on this thread like to be sketched by a man without your knowledge or consent because his partner was frightened by something connected to you? Or for any other reason?

Better to look at the facts. She ran home and told her partner a dog tried to attack her. He then went out presumably to address this with the owner? Turns out the dog didn’t do that, he was just off the lead and she was frightened in a public park, the place you would expect to find dogs. Therefore yes in this case he should apologise/ appease, and no doubt would feel great embarrassment. The issue here is why the poster did that? It seems she wanted excessive attention from her partner and for him to fight her battles to the point she was making shit up.

she seems more concerned that the woman was blonde and pretty than that she created the drama and ran to him for help with her created drama, no doubt embarrassing him in the process

All you need to understand is that he's a knobhead and you are better off without knobheads in your life.

There is no point in trying to fathom why he's a knobhead, he just is.

And she’s a drama Queen, so there’s that

@TheQueeen the issue is that he's been with someone for years. This isn't a third or fourth date. He ought to know how to reassure her. You ignore the sketching. The sketching is weird.

Have you finished? Or is there more of this drivel?

Your replies on OPs post come off as really low level nasty.

Don’t waste headspace trying to analyse him. Just accept he’s a complete dickhead and move on.