Growing up did you lie to your parents regularly?

[Brankiy]

Now that I have children of my own I often relfect on my own childhood.
i often lied to my parents as I wouldn’t have been allowed to do the thing otherwise…go up the town, meet friends, go for parties etc. this is all at a normal age of doing these things.
i also concealed a lot about my life. I could never have shared if I had a romantic interest as I would have been made fun of by my mum. So I would have lied about meeting up with guys and said I was with a friend instead. I do remember wishing at the time I could have just told her.
i want to make sure my children can share these things but am unsure how given my own upbringing

Be honest with them when they are teens? I was the same… I shouldn’t have been as worried as I was about sharing some things. Could you tell them sometimes you put yourself in unsafe situations because you didn’t want to tell your mum and dad what you were up to and you hope they will always be able to come to you if they are at a party they aren’t enjoying / if they are dating someone?

Equally my misspent youth means I’m sure there will be situations where I’m saying to mine “do you think I was born yesterday I know what you’re up to!”

Yes, my dad died when I was young and my mum was very strict. She kept me on a short leash and checked up on me constantly. I used to tell fibs (lies) about where I was going, eg I'd say I was visiting a friend who didn't have a phone so she couldn't ring to check, if I was really meeting a boy.
It made me be very open with my DC, I made it clear they could tell me anything. I know they kept some things private as is only natural, so I didn't pry. I know my mum would have disapproved.

All the time, about everything. They were incredibly critical and judgemental. I especially lied about romantic interests/sex.

Led to really low self esteem in my teens and early 20s.

I lied frequently from 15 onwards, I did loads I wouldn't want my kids doing! A lot of it pretty dangerous. I don't blame my mum at all for not wanting me doing a lot of what I did!

I didn’t, no. Honestly, my parents weren’t really around to lie to and when they were, I didn’t need to lie about anything because they wouldn’t have actually cared about what I was up to (and I was up to a lot of stupid stuff).

I think it’s just about having open conversations and responding kindly and respectfully to each other. If you are a good parent though who sets healthy boundaries, your children will lie to you. I wouldn’t take that as a sign you are doing something wrong. Kids are too immature to be able to make sensible adult decisions yet. You need to do that for them. It will annoy them, but that not a bad thing. It’s about keeping the conversation open so they still feel like they can come to you for help and support.

Oh yes. Not as a young kid but as a teenager for sure! This was in the days before phones let alone trackers although with the benefit of hindsight I got myself in some very dangerous situations while my mother thought I was at my friend’s house.
I think today it is much harder for teens to lie about their whereabouts.
I had a difficult childhood and as a result my teen years were rocky. All worked out ok but could have been very different.

Yes of course. Loving family but isn’t it just a fact of life that children and teens want to do things their parents wouldn’t approve of? I’m very open with my kids but I fully expect them to lie to me..

I didn't, but I grew up in a house where I was expected to walk on eggshells so I was always too terrified to do anything that wouldn't be approved of! I was a very dull teenager because of this.

All the time as they were very strict and I was barely allowed to do anything. I hated it , I've given my children more freedom within reason and they know they can talk to me about anything which I love. I never felt I could talk to my parents and growing up I felt very alone at times.

Yes, absolutely. My parents were very strict and in order to do anything a normal teen was supposed to do, I had to lie. I often laugh when I catch my kids lying, they are total amateurs compared to me. 🤣

All the time. For the same reason as you OP - one of it was because they were strict, but also because my mother would have mocked mercilessly if she even thought I had a crush, let alone went out with a boy.

I was in my mid twenties before I ever told her anything about someone I was dating, and that was when my relationship with now DH got serious. She has always been oddly confused by the fact that my sisters and I don't share personal things with her. I really don't think she sees why.

No. My parents were relaxed about life so I never felt the need. Eg told DM I was going on the pill at 17 and got the response ‘remember, if the sex isn’t fun, dump him’. I guess we’d been dating nearly 18 months by then and I’d been to stay with him (with parental knowledge) at uni. I was never particularly wild though (so smoking or drugs I might have needed to hide) and I think they were just relieved that I was having a fairly normal teenage time (I had been very straight laced of my own accord until about 15).

It's much harder for teens to lie about what they're doing these days isn't it, with smart phones and parents' WhatsApp groups constantly pinging.

I did lie yes. I actually snuck out of the house when I was 16ish after my parents went to bed and snuck back in at about 4am !

I was hit repeatedly if I was ever caught lying. Also if they thought I'd lied, even though I hadn't. It didn't stop me lying to them because they were so unreasonable. I didn't respect them so didn't feel bad about lying, just had the gut-wrenching anxiety in case I was caught out.
Feel very strongly now that, like some PPs, I don't want to pry and my kids are entitled to their privacy and they're entitled to disagree with me. Most of them are adults now, and I am extremely grateful and proud to have great relationships with them.

I was a teenager in the 70’s. I don’t think I deliberately lied to my parents but I certainly omitted a lot of the things I was up to😂. It was a very different time then and a lot easier to ‘get away’ with things. As PP say no mobile phones etc. I remember kissing a boy good night in the street. I looked round to see my Dad walking down the street. I flew round to the back door as my Dad headed in the front door. I ran in the house dragged my dressing gown on and sat on a dining room chair at the table. My Dad came in saying to my DM ‘I just saw our Combat kissing a boy in the street’. My DM said ‘what are you on about she’s been sat in that chair for ages’😂.

I am sorry that happened to you@Cornucopia55. I hadn’t read your post before posting my light hearted one.