Postpartum intimacy with partner

[Mamabud5]

I’m new here and not posted before but was wondering if people have experienced the same as me. I’m 4 months postpartum and struggling with being intimate with my partner (been together 6 years). I’m exclusively breastfeeding and I’ve read up on the feeling of being ‘touched out’ so I think this may be contributing to it but I think it’s partly due to me struggling to feel ‘sexy’ after giving birth. The only way I could describe it is almost embarrassment to try be sexy since becoming a mum and initiate any form of sexual intimacy with my partner. The longer I feel like this the more I’m worried it will build up in my head and I’ll never get back to feeling how I did before pregnancy. I’m planning on stopping breastfeeding around 6 months so I’m hoping maybe I will feel more myself then as well.

Am I alone or has anyone else experienced this and has anyone any tips?

Very very common. Please don't feel there's anything wrong with you. It's a combination of being touched out, feeling exhausted, and hormones which naturally suppress your sex drive. Think your body is naturally avoiding another pregnancy so close to your last.
Be open and honest with your partner, tell him your needs whilst also appreciating his. It's temporary not forever!

It's still early days. The main thing is that you talk to your partner and tell him how you are feeling and why so he doesn't take it personally. In those post partum years there was a while where it was bjs only, not because I had to but because I wanted to do something for him thst didn't involve me doing much work. It all levelled out again over time.

Totally normal. In fact we didn't do the deed (penetrative) til 7mo PP after our first child. I took me ages to heal and feel ready.

Don't rush yourself.

I didn't want any sexual intimacy until I was 9 months PP (at least!) with all of my babies. It was well over a year after my youngest. I breastfed each one until three as well so not particularly correlated. My periods also returned very quickly each time so hormonally I was up for it, just not emotionally or physically for a long time. It's just very personal. The more my husband did for me, for us, the greater chance I'd have any energy and feel like me, which increased desire.

4 months PP here too and EBF. Haven’t done anything remotely sexual with my DP since I gave birth and I have no desire to. I’ve had some complications with infections in my episiotomy which I am still waiting to fully heal but even without that I don’t think I’d be ready emotionally or physically. I know that will change as DD gets older and will probably start doing bits for him first. Just give it time and don’t put too much pressure on yourself - you will get back to it eventually!