DH won't move - WWYD?

[Midnights99]

We moved house 3 years ago and at the point that I really hate it now. Both location and house for various reasons. I have tried to make it somewhere I want to live but issues keep coming up to the point that I hate living here and we have already invested a small fortune. I can't see it ever being a home I'm content in. Would prefer a smaller house with less problems and it feels isolated location wise. Anyway main issue is my DH has said he will never move again when I have tried to raise it. There is no discussion just a flat out no and that I liked it at the time so can't change my mind. So WWYD in this position - I feel stuck.

Any children? Was last move a relocation or normal house move? How many houses in how many years?

The nuclear option is tell him you either move together or divorce and then you can force a sale. But that is really extreme.

However, 'never move again' is also very extreme.

What's the back story?

No kids atm. Moved twice in last 5 years but move here was driven by him disliking the estate whereas I was happy in our previous house. So maybe we have moved a fair bit in 5 years. This house was the opposite from last in almost every way and driven by DH. No need for either to change jobs as would not be looking to move very far. Financially I would say we are comfortable but a lot of money tied up in the house.

Where do you want to move to?

No kids?
Live on your own, if possible.
He's a burden.

Hmmm - so he didn’t like the last house , so you moved? Did he like it when you moved in? Is this basically an identical situation but in this case you have to lump it?

I do agree about stamp duty and moving costs but then the weigh up is that this house is costing a small fortune to maintain @peachcob

@WhatsInTheRug honestly just somewhere that is a bit less work and money to upkeep and is not in the middle of nowhere. We are in the country now and the lack of streetlights etc has made it harder to get out in evenings and mornings.

@Icanttakethisanymore it feels that way to me

Have you raised this with him at all? Does he have a response at all?

I know someone whose relationship recently broke up over just this issue. He was happy with the first house - then he wasn't and forced a move in less than a year. Bought second house, he was extremely happy there - and then he wasn't, despite all appearances of loving it for a year.

It's extremely unsettling when you keep moving, not knowing whether this will be 'the' house to stay in or whether you're going to have someone wanted to move again very quickly.

They split up. It was too stressful.

He didn't like your last house - you had to move, his decision.
You don't like this house - you have to stay put, also his decision.
Why are you letting him make all the decisions? Tell him calmly that you discuss it together or he will be moving anyway - to 2 separate houses!

Is there anything you can do to the house to make you like it more? If not and it’s a dealbreaker then you may need to issue an ultimatum. You moved for him and it didn’t work out. His turn to move for you.