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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separation from Ex

2 replies

LucyTrumannn · 20/10/2024 14:39

Dear Beautiful People,

I am in desperate of your help and advice.

My ex and I separated but we were just boyfriend and girlfriend we were not legally bind(ed). However, as a woman I believe I have given him everything just because I loved him and I was stupid. We have a lil boy together. I gave up my housing association 2 bed room flat, I stopped my career for a year, moved my daughter (changing school, taking her away from her friends), my health and body. I Moved to his house (while being pregnant) thinking were were about to create a family. During pregnancy his true nature came up (I have no idea how he was able to hide his narcissistic nature),I feel used.
I couldn't be under this domestic abuse and needed to keep safe my kidlets emotionally. I was able separated finally ask for help and get a place with the help of council. I believe he used my vulnerable situation where I had no place to go with my kid's school being near his property and being on maternity leave with no income whatsoever. I am on legal aid and it seems that my solicitor is a bit tights (bless his heart, I shouldn't be greedy but he is helping me).
My question is due to non legal tie I am unable to get some help from him however I can sue him on behalf of our son. And now I need to fill the form E1 and I have no idea what expenses may hold in the future re: my son (3 years old). He has 5 properties all of them (or some of them) buy to let: in Hackney (2 bedroom) and near Old street station (4 bedroom), Leytonstone (3 bedroom Victorian house), Stratfrod (3 bedroom house) and Tunbridge Wells (5 bedroom housesemi detached). He resides in one of them and the rest he put under the limited company which is less tax, expensive purchases in the name of the Ltd company. He has another occupation (self employed) accountancy which roughly he earns around £60K p/a. My downfall is I rent privately (its so expensive) and having very very abusive cost of living relationship these days (aren't some of us like that). He pays me CM £400 per month (and this is not enough at all). I feel like he is hiding his income because he earns way more than he shows to the government (is it possible to hide your income from HMRC???). His equity approx 1 million (based before I am not sure now). And i am worried that I wont be able to give some basic needs to my son due to financial hardship. Any help any advice any thoughts are so much welcome. Thank you for reading my "War and Peace".

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 20/10/2024 14:49

As you are unmarried, you can’t go after his houses and equity unless your name is on the property.

Unfortunately self employed parents can arrange their accounts so it looks like they earn less on paper. If you go legal or CMS you risk him fiddling his accounts so it looks like he earns £100pw and you’ll get much less than £400. (More like £7pw) This is sadly a legal loophole that many use.

TipsyJoker · 20/10/2024 15:38

You need a forensic accountant to track down all his earnings and new worth. Then you can report is true earning to cms and they will garnish them and pay them to you. However, there may be a cap on how much a non resident parent has to pay through cms. You should check this as I’m not sure. Find this out first because if it’s £400 a month or less, then there no point getting the forensic accountant.

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