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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I be spending more time with my boyfriend?

4 replies

HMum19 · 20/10/2024 12:11

Here is a bit of context to my situation: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost three years. I am almost 30, my boyfriend is 28. I have a little boy from a previous relationship. My boyfriend owns his own home however his mum lives with him, I still live at home with my mum and my little boy. My boyfriend and I talk about living together one day once we can afford to buy our own house together. At the moment, we see eachother on average 2 times a week, sometimes 3 times. I personally feel after our length of relationship and prospect of wanting to live together that we need to increase the amount of time we see eachother to get used to being around eachother more, however, my boyfriend often seems reluctant to spend more time together, as he enjoys his home comforts. I can understand this, however, I think it is important to trial spending more time together in order to know if we are going to be compatible living together. For example, my mum is away on holiday this week so I have the house to myself with my little boy, I asked my boyfriend if we would like to stay for the week as it’s the perfect opportunity to spend more time together without our parents around. My mum has been gone for 3 nights, so far he has only stayed one and gone home already. He seems unenthusiastic, and unwilling to spend more time together. It is really getting to me and I feel that this is detrimental to our relationship. Any advice?

OP posts:
pecanpie101 · 20/10/2024 16:45

It doesn't sound as if he's that keen considering you have a free house for a week.
How old is your little boy? What's their relationship like?
Does your boyfriend have any children?

NewName24 · 20/10/2024 17:08

Are you the same poster that was complaining about your boyfriend cancelling his evening with you, the other week, to spend the evening with his Mum ?

category12 · 20/10/2024 17:19

Well, he doesn't seem keen, does he?

I'd expect him to be really pleased with the opportunity to have the house to yourselves.

Think you might want to consider whether this is as good as it gets with him.

unmemorableusername · 20/10/2024 17:39

He's just not that into you.

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