Is it me or is this selfish??

[whymewhyme]

He went out last night and got in at 1am. He slept on the sofa so as not to wake me and Ds. I had an awful night with poorly ds. I had about 2 hours of sleep anyway, and we came down at 6 am. I woke him then and told him to go to bed at 10 am. In that time , I cleaned the kitchen, prepped the sunday dinner, made the yorkies, cleaned the living room, and done 2 loads of washing, not to menation, sorting the kids.

he came down at 10 am in the right mood, barely speaking, gets the bacon out, starts cooking. I went into the living room because he was being off.

He came into the living room, sat down with a plate full of bacon sandwiches, and started tucking in! I asked if ours were in the kitchen, and he said he didn't do us any. So i told him how selfish he was and he snapped 'did you ask' did I fucking ASK!!!!!!

I've done all that this morning, sent him to bed and all he can do is say did I ask!

He says he's not in a mood and he's not selfish!

I just feel utterly put on tbh

What an absolute pig.
Your poor children.
This is not normal.
You deserve better.
Have you family to talk to?

Yes it’s selfish

Is he usually like that? Otherwise it sounds like a hangover.

Never normally like it and he's deffinently hungover. I've got a low tolerance for dickhead men and I just won't stand for it.

I feel utterly taken for granted. I could have come down at 6am, gave him the baby, and told him to look after him and go back to bed but Instead, I told him to go to bed.

Well, he needs his work stuff washing, I just might not do it, and when he asked if I've done it, I would say, " Did you ask"

Regardless of your mammoth cleaning, prepping and childcare which he's most likely oblivious too. Cooking yourself bacon sarnies and not at the very least saying "do you want one" is just rude and selfish.

Absolutely do not do his laundry!!!

He's a selfish prick. You should have absolutely given him the baby and gone back to bed at 6am. If he wants to get fuckfaced and come in at 1am it's his problem. He's a parent and has responsibilities. I wouldn't do his laundry and I wouldn't dish him up dinner either.

Why the fuck are you washing his work stuff in general?

Fo not have the conversation today, the hangover means he won't be himself. I would go out with your baby for the day.

Does he pull his weight at all or is laundry your responsibility?

Yes, very selfish but as a one off I would not play tit for tat and not do his washing.

Clearly your level of tolerance for dickhead men isn’t low enough if you think it’s actually feasible that he’d ask if you’ve washed his work stuff.

Dear God- what sort of relationship do you people have,,?

I’d also be wondering why he was trying to pick a fight the morning after a big night out, personally.

If he’s not usually like this and this is literally just a one off as he is hungover I’d really not be bothered about this.

We take it in turns going out and general rule is that the one who hasn’t been out does the morning with baby so the other can have a slow morning feeling a bit worse for wear.

You really wouldn’t be bothered if your husband made a bacon sandwich and sat and ate it in front of you without offering you anything while you looked after your shared child?

If he was hungover, it’s a one off, no I wouldn’t.

If he was doing it often then yes obviously I would be, but can I honestly say that when I’ve had a rare night out and I’m rough the next day that I’ve never just gone and made myself something quick to eat? No, so I wouldn’t hold him to those standards either.

Day to day, yes I’d be bothered.

One off, after a night out, I couldn’t be arsed to be huffed about this.

Do you even need to ask this question? Of course it's selfish if someone other than your oh did it would you wonder? Is this the example you want to set for your dc?

My username might colour my opinion!