A few things have happened recently that make me uncomfortable, but not sure how to get my head around them. In LTR, no children together, things have been a little strained over the past few years but nothing too dramatic.
First incident: About a year ago he began moving his dinner time later into the evening, hour by hour, until we were rarely eating together much at all. I mentioned it a few times and he said he hadn't noticed.
I then begin to notice that he seems silently irritated if I am in the kitchen when he is cooking. Then, last week, whilst making myself a cup of tea whilst he was at the sink, we were just having a laugh, fairly lighthearted vibe, and as I turned around to say something he caught both my upper arms in his hands, squeezing his thumbs into my flesh which really freaking hurt! I actually yelped. He looked puzzled and said nothing until I mentioned it hurt, his reply was he had no idea what I was talking about, but he was sorry if he had hurt me. It was quite out of the ordinary and since he is a big chap, surely he would have known?
Another incident: We had been planning a short break for a while, and he told me to go ahead and book it for any weekend that was free for me. I surprised him last week by booking our favourite place and told him the dates, then he went quiet. After a bit of prodding he told me he had arranged to visit a friend on the day we'd depart. He visits this friend several times per month, only a few miles up the road, and they tend to just listen to music together and chat. It wasn't an important meeting and could have been rescheduled for any day that following week, so seemed a bit out of character.
He was visibly annoyed and said he would come down the following day on a train!
Another: I have noticed that if I don't make conversation, he pretty much doesn't speak to me. He will say practical stuff, offer to make coffee, tell the occasional joke, but no actual conversation whatsoever. I tend to generate most things and never gave it much thought before.
One effect of this is that if I don't ask or instigate a topic, he won't tell me anything about his day, or ask my opinion on things. It seems really strange as I am certain it never used to be like that a few years ago.
There are plenty more odd details that stand out to me, but I don't want to make the post too long. I am wondering if this is common, or has had anyone else baffled in a similar way? There's a lot of things that when questioned, he either denies knowing what I am talking about or acts completely confused.
The day after the arm thing I had two small bruises on my arms. I showed him and he kindly rolled his eyes as if I was being silly. I am sure to god he must have bloody known how they got there.
He has never been particularly violent, apart one or two small incidents many years ago which were during a time of terrible stress. He is also very bothered about being seen as a 'good person', especially in his own eyes. He says a lot but doesn't act on his words. Obviously, I am having doubts, but dont' want to be too hasty.