Messages only in daytime

[Thongsnomore]

Started speaking to someone new, it's been a couple of months. We've met up a couple of times, but only outside of home. We message each other alot in the daytime, but he's always quiet evenings and weekends. He says he's single and come out of a ltr earlier this year and is wary of having feelings again but from his messaging, I'm starting to think he's still in a relationship. Would you get this impression?

Part of being in a new relationship is the goodnight text.

Are you not intending to meet up? Is there any reason why you haven’t? Men usually tend to ask very quickly

We have met up, but not been to each others homes.

It’s a very typical pattern.

It’s tricky to message the OW with your wife and child hanging around.

Throw this one back for some other poor soul.

Maybe he games

I dated a guy not on FB years back, turned out he was living with his long term girlfriend! He never knew I found out, I just ghosted him.

Clearly there can be very innocent reasons for not being on FB but it does add to the picture..

A trick I found is to search for their brother or sister on Facebook (he may have mentioned a first name. Just add his surname). Then look at their photos or search for his first OR surname in their friend list.

Why? Because players often use fake 'funny' surnames. They also like to tell you they don't have fb...when they do.

I know one that used 'swartzernager'. Told me he didn't have fb but, things were 'off' so I did some digging. Found his sister, him through her page.

You can also search (reverse image search) their photos from online dating through Google I think?

Personally I'd phone him instead of texting.
If he never picks up the phone these days, you know why. Especially if he isn't busy because he texts right back. If he says "oops sorry I missed your call", wait 2 minutes then call back again. If he still doesn't pick up or, doesn't want to chat/whispers/seems agitated again, you know why. Assuming he's not socially anxious, it's because he's with his Mrs.

Do you meet on weekends or evening?

either way it’s not working for you

You should suggest you go round his house for dinner!

If he's a daytime delivery driver it's shocking he texts more in the day as they have such hectic schedules!

I would say he's in a relationship. He's trying to compartmentalise. At a push they will message if they feel they need to ( to keep you onside) but yes it will be different as someone else is sitting with him.

I would guess relationship.

Wouldn't be bothered by FB, though. I work in IT and plenty of colleagues refuse to use it. I don't have a profile picture of me on it, nor do I have my relationship status set - it's none of Facebook's business. And I don't have accounts on Twitter or Insta or anything else, because I can't be bothered.

yes of course

no other explanation

If you message at say 8.30 pm what happens? Or 11pm?

Because he has an early start, he says he's settled down for the night by around 9 - which is reasonable.

and weekends?

He's definitely up to something! I'd leave him to it and ignore

He’s married, and has no plans to leave/divorce his wife. He’s just looking for some part time fun, and the Monday to Friday 9-5 time slot is perfect for him. I really believe that this is what is happening here.

If it's the dickhead in Morely I chucked him back because he had a substance abuse problem which he seemed to think wasn't a problem as long as he kept it to past 9.30 or on a Saturday. Unfortunately I wasn't being second to an addiction again. Binned.

YABU
If he's in bed by 9pm because of his job having very early starts, personally I don't blame him.

Just proceed with caution until you're absolutely sure about his status/lifestyle.

I’d stop messaging him, a couple of meet-ups isn’t worth loads of messaging.

The relationship isn't moving forwards anyway, if you've only met a couple of times in two months. Even if he's not in a relationship, it doesn't scream availability to be in a relationship with you.

If you have met up with him, has this been during the week after his shift has finished? He's never suggested meeting at a weekend? That would seem odd to me. It's not uncommon for people to not have Facebook, a lot of the younger generation don't. However, he may have Facebook or Instagram! So still check!! Do you know where he lives? You could search online and see if anything crops up! You'd be surprised what information you can find online!! From the information you have provided, then I'd say it's likely he could be in a long-term relationship or married

This reminds me of when I was dating a guy a few years ago. He'd message a lot during the day then say a " goodnight" message around 7pm, but would stay consistently online on WhatsApp. And I'd noticed he was always online on the dating site immediately before and after meeting up in person. I never really liked him that much so this was my reason for ending it. I think he probably was living with someone and trying to get away with flirty chats and cheeky daytime coffee dates with women but never had the nerve to take it further.